"Where is this coming from?"
I learned somewhere that every decision we could ever make are either driven by fear or love. In Tranfer Phenomena, driving forces are often tackled when it comes to mass, heat and momentum transfer. We can even observe it in the equations for Fick's law of diffusion, Fourier's law of conduction, and Newton's law of viscosity which all follow a certain format:
The driving force is represented on the top of the equation, the resistance is represented below it, and the conditions where the phenomenon exists is represented by coefficients:
Often, it is the difference or delta (Δ) from the space of a higher concentration of "drive" to the space of zero to lower concentration of the former. In a fixed set of obstacles, the driving force holds the potential on how the quality of the equilibriation process will take place since it will always follow the law of nature.
In human beings, there are also driving forces that influence the decisions we make. One can say that it can be expressed in a single continuum wherein on one end we have fear and the opposite, love:
Most people act on fear in the presence of desperation, scarcity, negativity, jealousy, anxiety, hopelessness, pride, escapism, worthlessness— the state of “having something to lose”.
I am not trying to paint fear in a bad light. Fear as a driving force has proven itself time and time again to be useful— it has helped humanity overcome obstacles especially when it comes to survival. It allowed our ancestors to outsmart predators, to kill and hunt in order to feed their off-spring, it allowed them to make snap decisions to survive in the presence of danger and scarcity.
However, there is a downside to this driving force because it's not sustainable.
It's only useful for survival, but it doesn’t suit well if the objective is to thrive in the presence of abundance and calm-- if the objective is to grow, flow and optimize. Love allows space for a variety of virtues: generosity, peace, trust, mindfulness, and the faith that despite all our mistakes, everything will work themselves out for good.
The love-based driving force is one of the trademark things that separate us from most animals as it allows us to act on abundance, expression, learning, clarity at the absence of threat, that what we have is more than enough, and using what we have to maximize what we can achieve. It arguably should be the driving force of all forms of scientific discoveries, and art, especially in the pursuit of understanding ourselves.
Mindfulness is not something anyone can switch on and off inside our heads, but is something that is actively developed over time. The more we start becoming more mindful about what influences our decisions, the more we gain clarity on what we want... and not just what we want to escape from.
In the midst of overwhelm especially when unhelpful thoughts and feelings start to surface, I find it helpful to ask “Where did these thoughts and feelings come from?” or what point in my past did I feel this surge of negativity? When I do source the answer, I slowly comb through it the way a mother combs the hair of her lovely daughter, or the way a father holds the hand of his scared little boy.
Some people didn’t grow up with consistent kindness and affection in their childhood, for the very same reason— scarcity, not only in financial or physical forms, but also emotionally. That’s why it’s quite important to unlearn what was accustomed to and relearn how it should have been done.
The more our headspace remain under-optimized-- the more we continue neglecting our needs, the more we keep pouring out than how much we receive back, the more we feel unsafe, and insecure, the more we continue to give in to the same patterns of thinking, the more we continue to make decisions based on fear.
However, if we patiently allow our headspace to settle, to not give in right away to the usual fear-based narratives we all know haunt us, to receive grace in all forms, to be receptive of our needs, to sit in places and spaces where we feel most safe, to bank on other peoples’ kindness, we slowly allow our cups to be filled, allowing more opportunities to exercise love in right places, and clarity to make decisions that help us thrive.
...and I want all of us to thrive. Let's all do that.
Roxanne Marie is the twenty-year-old something who calls herself the Protean Creator.
She is a chemical engineer by profession, pole-dancer and blogger by passion and frustration, and lastly, a life enthusiast. She is on a mission to rediscover her truth through the messy iterative process of learning, relearning and unlearning. Currently, she works as a science and research instructor in her hometown, Tagbilaran City, all the while documenting her misadventures, reflections and shenanigans as a working-class millennial here on Hive.
If you like her content, don't forget to upvote and leave a comment to show some love. It would be an honor to have this post reblogged as well. Also, don't forget to follow her to be updated with her latest posts.
