Image designed on Canva
There was a true story a friend told me last year of another friend who was not content with what she had. She wanted to meet up with other people, not minding her background. She was just entering college, with my friend; they both were friends in their 100-level days and getting to the next level, she stopped moving with her. According to my friend, this girl stepped up her game! How? By keeping up with the Joneses. She met some so-called 'big girls' who were lavishing money on campus and living a reckless life. Unknown to her, these girls were hiding their true source of wealth and they only showed what others wanted to see: that is, their lavish spending, cars etc. She mingled with them by buying whatever they bought. This was a girl whose parents took a loan to send her to school but in the end, they cut off her body parts for ritual.
What does it mean to keep up with the Joneses? These are those who want to do what their neighbours are doing. When their neighbours buy a new car, they buy too. They buy whatever others buy that they cannot afford. These kinds of people want to feel 'belong' without appreciating what they have. They care less about the repercussions but focus on the immediate gratification it offers to them. They don't mind borrowing just to meet up with them and this doesn't last or take them anywhere.
People prefer to compare themselves to others as they strive to accumulate or acquire the same material things they possess. These are people who would even go the extra mile, passing their boundaries to attain a position they don't deserve. Even when the true ones are acquiring their wealth in real ways, they would go as far as ruining things for the sake of meeting up with them. If one is not careful especially staying below your means, it causes great issue in the end because you are trying to do what is above you.
When one is trying to keep up with the Joneses, it leads them to spend way above their income which eventually stresses their finances.
Reasons why people want to keep up with the Joneses.
The first reason here is that some individuals want to fit in, blend and be accepted. This kind of people feels it is the only way to be accepted into any social group they desire to be. In today's era, it is difficult to find yourself the odd person among those who have the latest gadgets, designers, cars, etc. and you don't have any of them and it becomes more of an issue when they start to feel they might be judged negatively because they fail to keep up with those in that circle of material goods, hence, their keeping up with others just to fit in.
The second most common reason is that they feel insecure which leads to low self-esteem. They believe that having more material things will make them feel better and more comfortable about themselves. They feel that having self-confidence lies in the truth of acquiring lots of things like the others but in reality, it is not true. With this notion, they feel indulged in overspending and feel unhappy along the line because they are caught in the middle of a spiral of debt which they find uneasy to get out of and they fail to save.
Another reason is that some people find it fun and pleasurable. For some like this, it is their way of feeling in the crowd rather than being on the edge. What they don't know is that possession of things like this comes with a cost; they feel pressured and stress comes in when it becomes a compulsion.
Keeping up with the Joneses is one quickest way to ruin your finances which in turn leads to financial instability. It makes one halt his or her financial goals, that is if there is one and it affects one psychologically in the end.
How do individuals get out of this circle?
The first on the list is to be grateful and contented. When one can show gratitude for what they have, it would be easy to stay within your limit and not feel compelled to meet up with others especially when you are still struggling to build your finances. A low-income earner shouldn't be worried too much about what others have but focus on building a financially stable life. When you are feeling pressured to spend more than you earn, remember to write down what you are grateful for.
The second is to stop comparing yourself to others. The truth is that all fingers are not equal. Comparison steals one joy and also takes a lot from someone especially when it comes to your health.
Create a budget plan and stick to it. Having a budget doesn't mean one shouldn't do what makes them happy. Spend what you can afford, and keep the amount low. Focus on buying something thoughtful and worth it rather than going for expensive stuff you wouldn't need at all.
The last thing is to find the right Joneses and use them as motivation. Do you know some still live a moderate life because they believe in the future rather than 'now'? These are those who don't live above their means, who don't flaunt their wealth everywhere, but those who live a modest lifestyle and still keep some savings. This is the kind of joneses that serves as motivation for one instead of the negative ones.
In conclusion, keeping up with the Joneses is commonly used by individuals negatively, whereas there may be benefits to it such as being exposed to new technologies and innovations, knowing about others' cultures, being aware of what is trending, and also enabling people to be aware of what other social circles are doing to communicate and connect with them. But with all these, it is necessary to strike a balance so that one would not be caught up in the rat race just to keep up with the Joneses.