Anger is normal but when it’s uncontrolled, it becomes dangerous. When one exhibits a hot temper, it affects a lot of things: relationships, trust, homes and even can lead to taking someone’s life if care isn’t taken. An angry person is likened to a city whose walls are broken and prone to dangerous outcomes.
I have had this issue for years until I started helping myself to curb it before it gets too late. Then, I used to justify my anger with the excuse, “That’s just how I am.” It even affected many areas of my life until I made the decision to change.
Having a hot temper shouldn’t become a license to hurt people. Some people naturally react quickly due to how they were brought up in their homes, so they see nothing wrong in being angry, up to the point of causing violence around them. There are some whose hot temper is triggered by stress, trauma or personality.
For some, when they are angry, they shout, insult, become violent and intimidate others, which leads to emotional damage and eventually breaks relationships. But here is the thing: being emotional doesn’t automatically make someone evil, but when the anger becomes a repeated cycle, it becomes hard to deal with.
However, with all of these, I would say everyone is responsible for learning how to manage their emotions. Just like I said above, I had to discipline myself with prayers and take intentional steps towards dealing with it.
Many people regret what they say when they are angry, but at that point, the deed has been done and cannot be undone.
Should a hot temper be an excuse?
No, anger should explain behaviour, not excuse it. For example, “I was angry,” does not take away the emotional abuse that had been done. Also, a person cannot continue to hurt others when they are angry and expect to be forgiven every time without working on themselves to avoid such cases next time.
There are ways people with a hot temper can be accountable for their emotions towards others:
They can apologise quickly or when the tense situation has subsided. They can seek help from a trusted person or psychologist, learn to control themselves when they are being triggered and most of all, work on changing harmful habits.
How then should society address the issue of hot temper?
Society should teach emotional intelligence early in schools and homes. Children are best taught this when they are still very young rather than when they are grown up and cannot be changed easily.
Parents should model healthy communication. It is what children see their parents doing that they do. They learn faster by observation — from things around them, especially things done by their parents. So, when this happens, they believe or assume it’s the right thing to do.
Society should stop glorifying aggression. We live in a world where people immediately defend those who exhibit a hot temper without cautioning their attitudes. But when society is keen on addressing such issues in the right way, things become peaceful.
Therapy, counselling, anger management and honest conversations should be encouraged to make people want to go for them.
Lastly, the role of religious bodies, schools and communities should not be ignored, as they also have a responsibility to teach morals like patience and self-control.
A society thrives and becomes healthier when people learn to respond instead of react. Everyone gets angry, but the place of maturity is when they are shown how to handle it, rather than glorifying it and making it look like it’s the right thing to do.
When people can control themselves, they protect their relationships and do not destroy them. A hot temper should never in any way become an excuse for hurting people.
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