Thats why I push through the pain. I Go to the river because its ice cold and it helps the swelling. I cant tolorate the heat but shit an hour at a time. When you're stuck inside a house a lot the 4 walls can make your world a lot smaller. So it can drive you crazy. We are conditioned. Into being disabled one way or another. Thats why honestly....if they fix the hamstring I know what I want. I just cant do it all broken. They got to fix one the hip or rotator. Im right handed!! Lolol. Sucks but i want a small ranch so my kids always have a place to call home. Financial freedom. Happiness. You cant find it in stuff, trust me Ive tried. I buy all kinds of shit I dont need per say. Distractions. Pain. But its because i refuse to take those pills. For instance

They discharged me from the hospital with the diagnosis of pots if you look it up it means Pastoral orthostatic tachycardia syndrome... When you look it up they tell you it's caused from injury. They want to make it sound like there's something wrong with you. But there isn't there something wrong with your bones and your posture and it's giving your heart symptoms basically. They're slowly conditioning people would tricky words and stuff... DE humanizing the words... its sad. I could go on but I wasn't that person in school but when the teacher asked do you think the glass is half empty or half full, I thought either. I just felt the glass was twice as big as it needed to be and actually got in trouble for that answer. But i want to live minimalist. Off grid. But i need to be able to take care of myself. Ive never not made a goal. This one will just take longer.