I love horses by the way. I thought I should say that first because for some people horses represent fear and an intimidating situation. For me though, I love horses and getting back on that horse is all about getting to experience one of the most amazing feelings of connectedness.
So I am learning, always learning, as I go along. And lately I have been learning a lot about my perception and management of time.
Over the Easter break I was very busy catching up with all the things around the house and property that I don't usually get time to take care of and maintain, and when I pushed myself I started to habitualise daily posting here on Steemit.
The moment I went back to work:
I felt hugely overwhelmed by my daytime workload
I resumed a hefty evening/nighttime workload
My computer had died and hours spent on sorting it out had drawn a blank
Major public deadlines with huge accountability are now my ongoing priority and I am letting them ride roughshod over everything else
I found time to get on social media other than Steemit (so, mainly Facebook) to make short comments (one sentence) and to read and 'like' other people's posts and comments (because this is a long-standing habit) but...
I found myself not posting on Steemit because I had built up the idea that Steemit posts are lengthy and involved quality pieces, and that I didn't have the time or headspace
I found myself avoiding Steemit because I was feeling conflicted about not posting (first daily, then at all)
I missed my interaction with fellow Steemians such as 
I've got to confess that without my computer I have been a bit bereaved and feel like I am going about my life with at least one arm missing. I'm on hold until payday, and once I get paid I will buy the parts and rebuild my machine. I do question how I have become so dependent on my machine, and at the same time my machine is kind of like the portal to my avatars online, so I can see how it has turned out this way.
The rebuild is going to focus on how I can post daily, and also on how I can make it easier for me to do that.
I'm going to set up a webcam for spontaneous and planned live broadcasts
The webcam is also going to enable recording segments for editing into longer training and teaching videos
I'm going to set up a decent microphone for audio recording, podcasts, and voiceovers
I'm going to set up and retrain my voice dictation software so that I can get more written
I'm going to set up my screen capture software so that I can create tutorial videos and let's play videos
I'm going to get a better green screen (one that is quick to put up and down, and which stows away compactly. Currently the one I use takes ages to set up its stands and needs ironing and takes up a huge space) so that I can create videos with me in smoothly and speedily
There's a lot more and that's the basic setup that I'm focusing on for next week. It's going to make post creation much easier, and I have seen that I need to do that in order to post more from within my current set of priorities around work.
I had sunk into a mindset where Steemit posts were a lot of work, and I know it doesn't have to be that way.
Back to the horse metaphor... the horse is the joy of doing, communicating, that feeling of connectedness. I really missed my friends on Steemit and I got stuck in a funk about not posting. Today I had a bit more time to think, and I realised that I could have been logging on to upvote and comment on their posts even if I was not posting. Why did I not have this thought earlier?
I'm spending most of my waking hours planning, teaching, marking, chasing about 50 students down for work that they should have submitted for me to mark and moderate with a deadline looming large, and next week is the first of several crunch weeks in a row where I will be on a production line of marking, prepping, teaching, chasing, firefighting all the way as individuals pop up in a crisis asking for help with xyz as their own stress climbs as deadlines and exams close in on us all. I'm good at clarifying and simplifying other people's lives and situations - I need to do this for myself.
I need to develop a better system for getting work out of students so that I avoid this crunch time each year
I need to stay steady as she goes, and limit the rocking on my heavily-laden boat so that I don't get swamped
It's OK to focus on being a reader on Steemit, and just reading, upvoting and commenting other people's content. It's not about me.
So I am back on that horse.
