Did i mention I DONT want advice! I want a seller!
Advice will be flagged, survivors will be shot...

Well, my advice would be that you go right away to a kickass exchange in an obscure server in the red light district of Discord which has the Steem/REV & REV/Steem parity and don't charge commissions and they offer you even a hot cup of coffee and they polish your shoes while you wait there until the operation ends.

Ah, but the only problem is that those chaps doesn't transact with shitcoins like €uros nor they use that obsolete malarkey like IBAN/SWIFT to send and receive the do$h. You rather will need trucks of ca$h, trucks full of almighty sovereigns sent through ABRA, CONEXUS or MAESTRO VES?, I mean pillaste ...my 'advice' ?¿?.

Ok, now flag me, shot me, whip me, spank me and smack me with your best smile. I'll survive!! :)