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planetross
@planetross
32
short original nothings
Followers
58
Following
4
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Location
Japan
Created
2017-11-10 02:31
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Wallet
planetross
humor
2017-12-16 23:38
Erasers
Erasers don’t work for most mistakes.
$ 0.000
5
planetross
humor
2017-12-16 01:53
Hikers
Hikers are just bad hitchhikers.
$ 0.027
8
planetross
humor
2017-12-14 23:59
Eyelids
On the day that eyelids are classified as useless, I probably won’t even blink.
planetross
humor
2017-12-14 02:14
Zero Tolerance
Are “zero tolerance programs” really necessary? Do “zeros” bother that many people?
planetross
humor
2017-12-12 23:28
Margerine and Butter
I cannot tell the one from the udder, when it comes to margerine and butter.
planetross
humor
2017-12-12 00:31
Evolution
It must have been nice to be a caveman. No one else’s shoes to fill.
planetross
humor
2017-12-11 00:02
Pirates
I'm glad there were pirates in history ... because I really didn't want to be a clown on Halloween as a kid.
planetross
humor
2017-12-09 22:41
Technically
Technically, anywhere a bus stops … is a “bus stop”.
planetross
humor
2017-12-09 00:32
Safes
If people can break into safes, then the name “safe” isn’t a very accurate title for this device. A better name would be “Security Almost From Everyone” or S.A.F.E. for short. oh! nevermind.
planetross
humor
2017-12-08 00:27
The Crow
Outside the ice cream shop, I saw a big crow struggling with a piece of plastic twine wrapped around its legs. I tried to help it. I threw it a pair of scissors and made a cutting motion with my fingers,
planetross
humor
2017-12-07 02:37
Omniscient
If I were omniscient, I’d know to throw a few “I guesses” into conversations so as not to sound like such a prick all of the time.
planetross
humor
2017-12-05 23:19
Knowledge (2)
I ate a banana from the Tree of Knowledge. Afterwards I thought, “That wasn’t the Tree of Knowledge.” So I guess it must have been.
planetross
humor
2017-12-04 23:09
Limping
I’ve had a limp for a few days now. It’s not so bad, … it’s in my arm.
planetross
humor
2017-12-03 23:54
Thumbs
Not having opposable thumbs is hard for me to grasp.
planetross
humor
2017-12-03 00:12
Practically Dreaming
. I dreamt ... I was falling ... while bungee jumping. I was running but not moving ... on a treadmill. I saw a unicorn ... in a book. I was flying ... in an airplane ... in economy class as usual. I bought
planetross
humor
2017-12-02 02:39
Paperclips
Paperclips are trivial and go unnoticed by most people. You can live your whole life without needing one. What do paperclips do? They hold stuff together that would otherwise just get scattered around,
planetross
humor
2017-12-01 02:43
Knowledge
I'm like a cactus, if you get too close to me I'll burn you. Oh! I'm a burning cactus! ... I thought you knew that.
planetross
humor
2017-11-29 23:31
Orders
I hate when people tell me what to do! I will do what I want! I don’t care what you say! Screw you Simon Says!
planetross
humor
2017-11-28 23:59
A Blank Slate
Someone has been doodling on my “Tabula rasa"!
planetross
humor
2017-11-27 23:45
Goals
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