When I think of the past, I often see a glimpse of memories that hold a significant part of my life reminding me when life seemed not so complex, had a sense of comfort, and even more familiar.
Life back then seemed slower and less burdened by the face of entropy.
One time, when I see these kids at an open court, I was happily watching them because I could feel the kids’ innocence and only think about fun.
I talked to them and I felt a light in the heart seeing a reflection of my younger self who was just happily dancing even in chaos.
And when I clicked my camera, they were so glad that I captured them. I love how they value a simple moment with no problem at all.
As cheerful as these little kids...
Meanwhile, my younger self talked to me in silence that how I wish I was like them.
I remember when I was younger, I used to dream of becoming big too fast because I had a lot of inspirations and I wanted to be like them.
But you know what, now that I have grown older, I may have achieved what I wanted, but I then realized how I wish I was still young when my only problem is how to fulfill my dreams.
As time moves forward, I sometimes find myself yearning for the old times. Yes, the world is constantly evolving, and I must say that nostalgia often creeps in, touching my heartstrings, and always feeling comfortable about the simplicity that the past offered to me.
I miss the old times. I miss how things worked. I miss everything. And now, as I grew older, day by day, I face chaos.
A lot has changed, and things happen in a blink. Good and evil, they all taught me lessons, but the worst feeling is being broken into pieces. And it is only by accepting what has already happened that will allow me to move on to what I want to happen.
Perhaps when I have already accepted my side, a part of me is telling me that dwelling in the past will only prevent me from living in a better present. As I often say, this is life, I will be living with my rules, and let it be used well to an advantage.
Before, when I was a kid, I may have cried and have been hurt many times but a big smile awaits at the end of my day while forgetting about what had happened.
Today, when I am badly hurt, I just let myself face it without bouncing back negatively. But when I am hurt, oftentimes, I just face the truth because if I continue to tell lies to myself and pretend to get myself that I am fine when I am not, my heart is broken and not at peace.
However, as soon as I acknowledge my hurt, my heart begins to mend itself. I believe that it is okay to cry it out if I needed to when my heart is bursting with sorrow and pain, and there is nothing to worry about that as I stay true to myself. I just have to keep holding on to faith that one day, I will move on and pass the struggles.
Most of the time, I continue to think about the folks who have moved on from my life and forgotten their reasons for doing so. But also a part of me is telling me to advance and develop the ability to create memories in the present while treasuring good people and still being good to the not-so-good ones.
Indeed, the unfortunate truth of life is that we can only hold on to our memories and not the people we once loved. The story can be reset numerous times but it will never be the same the way it was before.
And yes, this is life, anyone who seeks light will always find it at the most hopeful moment. The best hopeful time is the present. And I am hopeful that by living in the present moment, new memories, relationships, and experiences can be created that will one day become the old times I could cherish once more.
And that, I firmly believe that while the past may hold more cherished memories, the present, and the future still hold their promises to me as I find solace and contentment in my constantly changing life even in the face of entropy.
Disclaimer: All texts and pictures are my own unless otherwise stated.
