Path To Transformation

This week has been a little tough for me. I don't know how it all started, but I've found myself constantly thinking about my life. I reflect on how I've lived so far, what I've achieved, and the path I'm on now.

It all feels scary.

Source

I got scared when I realised I've backed down on many things; my ambitions have changed. Why? Because of a mindset I developed years ago.

I believed everything happened for a reason, and we only have 50% control over our lives and destiny. So, on days when I failed, I would comfort myself with these beliefs, saying, You did your best. This is how it was meant to be. And I kept failing, giving up, and consoling myself.

As I grew up, I realised that I am in control.
I own 100% of myself.
But then, I kept feeling empty. What was that? Dissatisfaction.

I aspire for more, for greatness. Then, I joined a group where I found the best in me (I'll share more about this in another post). I now enjoy discussing life, work, and success with these folks. My hunger for growth led me to like-minded people. But then I lost my peace of mind.

_{I came across this beautiful choreography on YouTube.}

As I mentioned, I've been restless. I think it's due to my focus on personal growth—not physical but mental, spiritual, and psychological growth.
I've realised many aspects of my lifestyle need to change, but this change would affect the things that bring me pleasure, comfort, and relaxation. These things are detrimental to my health and have hindered my progress.

Yesterday, while still in one of my dense moods, I listened to music playing from my neighbour's MP outside the house. I felt compelled to ask him about the song's title and the artist.
I downloaded the song and added it to my playlist. I played it repeatedly for a while before making it a favorite.

_{Photo from Boomplay}

These are the lines that got me hooked:

World, I want to leave you better.
I want my life to matter.
I am afraid I have no purpose here.

I was like, Isn't that my feeling discussed by Sia?

"You're not alone in all these
you're not alone, I promise."

It was comforting to be reminded that I'm not alone in this situation. Almost everyone experiences self-doubt at some point. It could be due to the pressure of growing up and aspiring to succeed. Perhaps it hits at a certain age when our peers seem to have it all figured out while we're still trying to discover. Or maybe it stems from our awareness of the responsibilities awaiting us in the future. Whatever the reason, we all strive for change, improvement, and achievement.
This is when the chorus made me tear up.

"Have I the courage to change?
Have I the courage to change today?"

I realised the key isn't just recognising my bad habits and lifestyle but having the courage to change. The courage to let them go and embrace a different path that might not offer immediate comfort. And the emphasis is on today.

We often contemplate making changes, but turning them into consistent actions is challenging.It takes courage to step out of our comfort zone, to unlearn, relearn, and embrace new things that empower us to take charge of our lives and improve them.

Courage to Change was released in September 2020. Three years have passed, but it feels like yesterday. The song arrived at the perfect moment for me, providing the inspiration I needed. I went on to listen to all the songs in that album, "Music," and I must admit, they are all impactful, empowering, and suitable for every season of our lives.