I read it all. Some lines even twice. Yet, I don´t know what to say... This was the most open and raw freewrite I have ever seen here. We all have some demons that we fight (internally, externally or both) but yours were really badass. You have my utmost respect for how you have been handling life (and for writing this piece too). Hopefully, the years and decades to come will be easier and more enjoyable for you, strong girl. Fingers crossed for you.

Btw, being in wild nature has the same effects on me too. Mother Nature is very powerful.