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I'm lucky that both of my parents are still alive! Are they perfect? Far away from it, but they did raise my sister and me fairly well... I suppose... lol... 😃
I suppose your mother is generational somewhere around my grandparents, who lived, as you said, in completely different times... Unfortunately, some had a very hard life during the war(s), which made their skin thicker, but also created some wounds that never healed... Perhaps it's just an excuse for their behavior, but I can't hold a grudge against anything they did or said as I didn't live their lives...
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RE: Reflections on my Late Mother's Birthday