I don't know the answer to your question... I'm not sure whether my presence helped anyone, but often the most important thing is just being there... To offer your time, your shoulder... Sometimes words are superfluous...
But I want to thank you for writing all this... While I was reading your lines, it reminded me of my parents and their "unhealthy" relationship; it reminded me of some people very dear to me, and reminded me about myself... I know many are struggling with similar issues and doubts like you, and many will find comfort in your words... Hopefully, it helped you too when you wrote down all this...
Thank you for sharing!
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RE: Trauma on trauma (and more)