...and with that comes a whole slew of bullshit.
Every week begins the same, with dread and a little bit of hope. I dread having to deal with people who can just willy nilly walk into my work. Then people tell me, "Well that is your job"... Ah huh, and your point?
Like having to do something should automatically be enjoyable. Very little about human interaction is and never will be, no matter how many smiles you put on. The best you can do is what you do, dread it, hate it so deeply and then focus on just doing the task at hand.
Ok, non-sensical rant over.
I don't know.
The tasks at hand, at least pass the time. Sure you can dread them because they are mind-numbing and worse they were given by butt biters which automatically makes it worthless. Oh but you should be thankful you get paid.
Ok.
Sure I know all the retorts to every complaint, this does not mean things aren't bullshit. Will it change? Will I not mind doing some of it?
Possibly, maybe, probably not.
That is where the glimmer of hope comes in.
It is the thing that will keep you distracted but you need to mind not getting too off course.
It is that little bit of fire that burns the connection between doing the task at hand and what you feel about it.
A controlled blaze that slowly directs your mind to other things instead of the suffering what is the will of others.
Oh so dramatic.
Shhh. I am not listening. Oh, you want this and were wondering about that?
Oh, that is nice, .... "Dude, you know what that thing wanted?"
Then continue working on the shit that stuck.
So I know it is simple, just do the work, I know.
The fire gets confused though.
Instead of being a guiding light, controlled and, maintaining the severance of my mind from the brain molestation that is dealing with people in the majority of forms, especially a service capacity.
It goes and just burns everything, turning to ash even the things I want to do. Scattering my willpower to the damn wind, making me latch on to every stupid thing in a reactive tussle.
Indifference is hard.
Especially if you are trying to direct it.
So the plan is simple really, be indifferent towards the things I just have to do, like speaking, hearing and then fulfilling requests from customers.
Use the energy saved from not wasting time being invested in any responses beyond what is absolutely required to get rid of them , use that energy thinking of other things.
Really simple, just constantly be distracted but in a productive fashion.
I don't know if I am explaining this right but also I can't be arsed.
He says being arsed.
...not like that.
What I am saying is, that if there is shit you need to do then unless you can get away with just not doing it then it is probably best to not think about what you are doing right?
Obviously, if the thing you are doing does not involve people then I assume it really is not all bad and at best just boring.
It is the people factor that makes it horrid, their voices when they ask you to do said thing, or the irritation you feel when having to read a text from them. Their existence.
Then add the task and boom you have a hodgepodge of turmoil.
But, if you can shut that down and listen, read then do without having it really register any response other than the obvious disdain you can focus on thinking about the things you want to do.
Think about a new post topic that is better than this crap I just wrote. Focus on a problem you are facing in some other area which has value, like getting excited to get home and work on a project or solve a problem.
That is the glimmer of hope, and when indifference burns everything down and scatters everything to the wind it is not indifference that remains. Since if it was then I would not have needed to try and use it.
It is stupid feelings like neediness and all the nonsense that comes with wanting.
Anyhow, good luck in getting through your week. Me, I will try again.
Whoosa, my mind is a blank canvas.
I see a clear lake... "Seriously Johnny? You could not take a dump deeper in?"
