SO ON EARTH AS IN SPACE

Seven days.

Seven days since I returned from space, it takes less time than I would have imagined.

This felt so unreal, they had me as a hero just for volunteering on the test trip.

We had never used that kind of technology, it was great, the trip to space wouldn't only be faster now also be completely safe.

I am a living proof of that.

I should be happy, a trip meant to last for many years was carried out in less than half the time.

This would definitely help to the future astronauts. They wouldn't have to spend most of their lives in space thanks to that.

But that didn't prevent me from feeling this emptiness.

I want to go back to space.

That thought didn't stop hovering in my head. In space I felt free, despite being in a ship that limits my movement I felt invincible.

From above everything was different, the world looked so small that it seemed so insignificant and I was his observer, for years feeling like a God.

But now that time would be limited.

Always trying to move forward, why they couldn't leave things as they were?

I don't get it.

"Whatever disturbs your mind, move it" - That known voice took me out of thoughts.

I looked up and noticed Marco, my good friend Marco.

"I find myself some stressed" - That was my absurd attempt to excuse my dispersion.

"I didn't doubt it for a second" - Very funny.

His teasing tone made my tension fade a little.

"Can I tell you something crazy?" - Something unthinkable? Something that will drive me crazy?

"I have a feeling that even if I say no, you will do it"

That's true, Marco is the person who knows me best in the world.

"I want to return to space" - The security in my voice and the longing I showed when I said that impressed Marco much more than my words.

"Well ... barely a week has passed since you came back, you'll just have to wait and I guess you'll go again" - For some reason the nervousness in his voice didn't please me.

"I want to go back now".

"Why so hurry? Take a break, you deserve it" - His reassuring smile couldn't calm me at all, weird, it always worked.

"I'll talk to my superiors about going back".

My feet were moving as if they had a life of their own towards the door of my room. Marco's hand squeezing with a strong grip on my arm stopped me.

"Don't do it" - There was despair in his voice.

"Why?"

"Just wait a while, take a few days and..."

I didn't need any days, I needed to be in space now.

"I will not wait"

I let go of his grip and I follow my path, my feet feel floating, perhaps because of the emotion of returning to space.

As I turned to Marco his pleading eyes stopped me. I felt that I should stay but I have always been bullheaded and I cross the door of the room.

In less than a second the whole picture changes.

My floating feet make more sense now. My long-awaited wish is fulfilled because I am in space.

I'm some dazed and confused, I'm floating in space and the only thing that prevents it from flying in any direction is the firm tie that is on my hip and is attached to my ship.

Or what was left of it in reality since it is mostly destroyed.

What happened?

As much as I try, I can't remember anything. It seems that the test trip wasn't as good as expected.

But I'm not afraid. The words and insistence of not returning from the frame of my mind make sense.

I always felt my best friend as if it were my conscience, the reasonable part of my being. Always being right even when he wasn't with me in reality.

I couldn't go back into space.

I couldn't because I never really returned to earth.

And that was fine, dying here is fine.

I fix my eyes to the vast universe around me.

I will not die on earth as a mortal.

My dream of staying in space was fulfilled, that of not returning to earth.

The dream of dying in space as a God.