When a girl tries to be playful to catch the attention of a boy But she doesn't know he has anger issues pic I nominate @runningman and @mymemeisthebest for Comedy Open Mic Round 4.

When you get the bright idea to teach your girlfriend how to shoot and she takes to it like a duck to water I'd be really scared, too....better lock up the guns and throw away the key pic

I'm trying out different pick up lines to see which would work on a girl. I've seen some good ones but I'm really considering this one I think girls like studs pic

This is how I use public toilets Gotta protect myself from germs pic

My dad recently had the birds and the bees talk with me You may chase them, but make sure you don't get them all I nominate @mathson and @lamteemit. pic

When you piss off a blind person Be ready to get whacked pic

Back in the islands, whenever a youngster misbehaved in any way, the elders (older siblings, uncles, aunties, parents, etc.) always tell them they're gonna slap them with their feet. I always brushed it

My mom told me not to touch her coke I didn't listen, now I know why COMEDY OPEN MIC: ROUND 2, ENTRY 2 pic

When my mom told me to take out the trash and that she meant it I didn't want to be in any more trouble than I already was pic

When I'm asked a direct question and have no idea what the conversation has been about Hmmm, let me consult with the council (my parents) and get back to you pic

When mom says you can order whatever you want But there's no fried chicken on the menu Comedy Open Mic Round 2 pic

When you have supportive friends But they're as dumb as you are That should lessen the chances of propagating that gene pics: 1,2

When I eat too much chili and can't feel my mouth I finally understand what they mean by mouthwatering food pic

My mom got tired of waking me up every morning So she got me this fabulous bed pic

When my parents say I can leave a family gathering early They don't have to tell me twice

When I pretend to be sick But mom tells me I still have to go to school pic

Get out of my way, pole! Good friends will back you up, no matter what pic

This Aussie heat is burning my fur off When it's so hot, you just let it all hang out pic

All you need is the right motivation I'll definitely be eating my veges now Oh, and also some great benefits from vegetables Don't look like smiggle, eat your vegetables pic 1, 2

I was told to learn something new everyday. Well, here's today's lesson: Now, I know why my dad never holds back, and he's got great ideas too. pic