Learning to Find my Creative Side

Like any creative artists there’s always a place to start, and it’s never usually that good. At least for me it wasn’t. Trying to find your creative side isn't an easy task to get the idea of your mind onto the canvas or the paper. Whether poetry, paining or photography, finding the right composition is always my struggle.

My grandma self taught herself how to paint in her 60s, I was around 10. She tried her hardest to get me to learn as well, I apparently didn’t have any at that time. Before my 16th birthday she had given me a mood ring she purchased the year I was born with the note telling me how much she loved, me how proud of me she was and that she wouldn’t be around for my 18th birthday, so she wanted me to have on my sweet 16. The note made me sad and happy and same time. I couldn’t imagine her not being around for my 18th birthday, for she was the woman that taught me so much on just an eighth-grade education. Still to this day I remember always telling me to laugh daily, learn something new every day despite what God has given us and to go to bed with a smile. She died three weeks before my 18th birthday. Ironically my futures husbands birthday.

Genevieve’s Vase

I was the second youngest grandchild and somehow my mom was able to snag me some of her most valuable paintings, her favorites in which I have hanging throughout my house.

One of Genevieve’s first bouquets

My Hand painted photo of her Bouquet

After battling Depression and Anxiety my entire life, I sought the help of professionals in 2017 even more so than I had in the past. I knew I needed to find peace, I need to find happiness. Being diagnosed with Bipolar Depression II threw a loop into my life but it allowed me to find my creative side, to channel some of my grandmothers direction.

My first mixed media painting -watercolor and acrylic

Over the past year, I have moved into painting and more poetry to release the stress and tension from the highs and lows. I began slowly, looking at a photograph online, trying it out and then taking to the paints. As time progressed I got a little better now decided to stick my hand into abstract art.

The journey has been long. Many days I don’t feel a creative stint within me. Other days words fly out of my mind, Paintings roll off the canvas. I have my grandmother to thank for teaching me what I was too stupid to pick up at 10. I feel her spirit each time I prep a canvas. Knowing she’s always with me in spirit, I have the blessing of those times when I was younger with her.