Actually, your sincere reflection on this matter is absolutely fair and I cannot give a fully logically water-tight rebuttal to it (yet), even from an Orthodox perspective. Your own view is logically mostly plausible and not something that can be dismissed on its face (even if admitting that is unfortunately uncomfortable for me -- but, for the sake of truth, I am not going to hide from that discomfort).

On the hierarchy side, I do currently think of the Orthodox view as being more plausible : each Apostle being independent and conciliar with all the other Apostolic lineages (so unlike Papal supremacy), as well as the necessity of physical lineage in the transmission of the Gospel being important since the Gospel was not revealed originally as abstract ideas to disconnected individuals. Having said that, your own view, which, even if ultimately incorrect, is extremely useful at least as a corrective for the Statist and State-compromising excesses of the current hierarchical Apostolic churches.