While I was going through the article by Dove on Sibling Rivalry and Sibling Relationship, I turn nostalgic about my childhood when I too used to envy my sisters and brother in some way.
I am not fair girl. Though with time I have gained some fairness on my complexion, I used to be very black girl.
But talking about my two sisters and my brother, they all were very much fair. My younger sister was so much fair that everyone used to call her western though we are from eastern society. My elder sister and brother were white enough to gain the tag of beautiful babies.
Fairness was the thing I used to envy from them the most. I was most envious of my younger sister for elder sister was far away and I was hardly compare to my brother.
Simple comment from people made me more envious towards her. Like people used to tag her 'beautiful' and me 'Kali' mean black.
Every time new people meet 3 of us together their comment would be youngest one is the best. The the eldest one and middle one is fine,
They even predict may be eldest one will be the most beautiful in days to come whereas I will turn to be an Okay looking woman.
OK fine, people talk and their work is to talk. I just tried to console myself at least my family didn't tag me with such things. But later I used to questioned myself my parents didn't say anything to me directly but did they ever tried to defend me?
No, never. They never tried to defend me. I don't blame them for anything. May be they didn't find the issue very much important and took it in normal way.
But that hurts. Hurts a lot when you are the most ugly children of your family.
I still remember how my and my sister friend comment on our beauty. Child just like us, I don't know what hit this idea on is mind but he actually said,'Whenever a guy come to your house to look you for marriage, better hide your sister. Otherwise he will like your sister instead of you.'
Funny comment from a toddler but when I reflect on the comment now, I feel he was just representing the society he is living. It was not his fault by the way.
Anyway fairness and beauty was one thing that I envied my siblings a lot. But there was another thing I envy about them.
I actually envied their spontaneity. They all were so quick daring and talkative.
But I was very slow and shy. I better prefer to stay in one corner of the room and only smile if someone would look at me. I could only talk with my family and few selected friends.
I am not like that now but I don't know why I was so slow, shy and afraid at the time. Only concerned with my study I am still called 'deaf' by some of my relatives.
I can't comprehend the reason behind that but may be I was trying to be far from the society that called me unbeautiful. I was lost in my own world. Obviously I actually created my world at the time. I was close to books and books were my friends. Even my siblings were like my enemy who if entered my world of imagination can destroy as they destroyed my real world.
I actually think I was slow and shy and alone because I wanted to be far from the society that tagged me unbeautiful and deaf. But as soon as I discover my potential, all of my weaknesses vanished away like a magic.
Ya, I discovered my strength, Study. Study was my strength. Since I was child I performed very well in class and even topped the class.
In my society where child are pride of parents, my parent were very open to explain about my study to others. And they started to like me for my study. Praise me and even publicized my study.
And as it helps me to come out of my guiltiness for not being fair enough, I came to know my siblings actually envy me as well.
They envied me for my study, the praise I get from people and my popularity among teachers in school.
More than that, my spontaneous siblings too envy my patience. While they brusted out on simple thing, I used to stay quite and rebel.
What a story, we were different but as a child were taking our differences as a lack. But there were none to make us realized so. And when we realized it ourselves,god knows how, but we did started loving others.
I can still remember how I even started back biting about my siblings and beating my sister and brother be fore I came to know about my strength
Now, when I talk to my sisters and brothers about it, it sounds quite funny, Yes, they too envied each other in many way. We though a child realized many things that hinder our relation not to grow weaker whereas some still continues.
Only thing is we talk about it now. We have realized we don't lack anything. Only thing is we are different.
Realization of the facts has lead us our relationship to be more powerful and nowadays we take each other as a role model for the things we don't have. We try to develop good qualities of each others and we are inspiration to each others.
Moreover, luckily, my brother has grown darker than me and I has turned a bit fairer than before. And this has driven away my guilt for not being beautiful.
Still I think Had I not been able to find my strength, Had I not grown a bit fairer or Had not I have good siblings who took my rivalry positively?
Had I been able to come out of that loneliness?
I don't think I ever had with that normal and conservative parent. They did help me unknowingly publicizing about my study but Had not I been a good student??
And That is why I liked the article very much because time is not going to make things perfect again. All child are not capable enough to be aware about his or her potential. Parents have to help them to do so.
For article Click the link below...