Oh! I was not aware of this. Hope it helps a bit if I give you my sincere condolences.
The thing about this is that nobody can tell you how you feel, as only you will know.
I have also been through this a few times, as my entire family except for my elder sister has passed away. One day I will also go that way, but for now I live my life to the full every day.
Glad that I could bring you some smiles my friend.
God's blessings and stay strong!