Is it just me, or does football commentary often sound like they're narrating a gay sex scene? "He just gets behind him and goes for the reach around." "He just pounds him from the rear!"

What's the deal with the one that talks about certain regions where "fungal infections are common"? Where the hell is that, so I can NEVER go there.

I'd like to take a really long shit. Not for a long time, just a really long shit. Try not to pinch it off, let it stand out of the water.

Why does your wife always say "We should do..." when she wants you to do something that she has no intention of helping with?