Thanks for following up abject misery (I'm so sorry you sure make it sound bleak) with your joys.

I'm seeking out help, even though I don't really expect it to help me.

is not such good news though. Why not stop wasting your money? I'm quite peeved with mental health professionals of late. They are often pushing political agendas while making us feel inadequate that we don't naturally embrace those same agendas; we are considered ill, often in need of medication, if we do not embrace the agendas. Also, get your kid out of public schools. Children are no longer safe there, no more safe than they are at doctors' offices. They get poisoned in both of those places, and made slaves. Look at your slavery, then be free. That's advice, freewrite advice. I hope you don't mind.