No I did not. I could not cope with it immediately afterwards, and we were then living where almost no one knew him. My daughters and sister were there when he died so I had that. We went right away to the lake (where I am right now) which was his favorite place. I was numb for a few months.

My daughters and I did spread some of his ashes in the lake a few months ago, and I hope to have a small gathering here, with only those very few who remained loyal and loving to him until his death. I don't want anyone who abused him or judged him, or me as his mother, unworthy in any way, and there are quite a few of those who have said they would like to come if we do something. Screw them. They were fair weather friends, who just want to feel better about themselves. oh now you've made me mad!