Hey CryptoDeaf, I'm deaf, 44 years old, male, happily married with another deaf. I was mainstreamed like you, but my SO wasn't. My wife and I performed an experiment you may be interested in. We would apply for the same job at the same time, her using her maiden name, all applying for companies that advertise open positions.
My wife and I have the same responses having rehearsed them beforehand to various questions that an employer would typically ask an employee for interviews. Overall our applications and resumes were identical,with the exception of my age being 3 years younger than her and of course the difference in sex.
We each went through 30 interviews, out of those interviews, she was offered 22 job offers compared against my abysmal 3 job offers. She's even had more successful interviews with them aware of her being deaf, compared against mine where interviewers would learn of my deafness and immediately end the interview without further explanation.
What's your take on this?
My take on it is the same as yours. I've actually witnessed this first hand. My mother, for example, was also deaf, same kind of position I was in. My mother mainstreamed me because she figured it worked just fine for her, it would work fine for her son (me). She also opted me out of getting cochlear implants when I was a child because she didn't see the need for them when she was able to get by without them herself.
There's studies, which are sadly behind an expensive paywall, that reveal that women tend to cope better with mainstreaming than males, however they don't dig deep into finding out why. The reason as to why, however, is largely due to female preference. Men, women and yes even children all have a very heavy female preference regardless of what feminists will insist. And this shows even today. Just for sake of example, look at US law. If a man is the victim of domestic violence with a female abuser, and he calls the police he's the one arrested and charged with domestic violence. Female circumcision is illegal but male circumcision is not only legal, it's considered acceptable. These are just two examples out of countless that show society as gynocentric, there are many more such as how it's acceptable to say horrible things about men like male on male prison rape jokes, how say that all men are horrible monsters, or even laugh on national TV about a guy having his penis cut off and thrown in a garbage disposal. A statement about how horrible women are is seen as hateful and sexist but not when it's about men. A statement about cutting off a woman's breasts and throwing them in a garbage disposal is taken with shock and horror about how cruel and sexist the statement is. You get the picture.
So what's up with the employment situation? Why are deaf men far more likely to remain unemployed and live off disability payments while deaf women are more capable of more easily finding and keeping work? It's because of sexism against men in society at large. Companies do want to get those affirmative action and disability quotas, so if they hire on a deaf woman, they get double the government credits than if they hire a deaf male.
My mother in the past has attempted to help me get work with her pull at not only government offices she's worked for in the past, but also the security agency she worked with last. Government offices suddenly didn't have any positions open contrary to what my mother knew, watching as her son is passed over in employment for an entry level job in favor of some air headed bimbo that could barely type, let alone file things properly causing even more work on my mother to the security agency Securitas that refused to hire me because again somehow the post they needed to fill somehow got filled by the invisible man.
Was it discrimination based on disability? Ohhhhh hell yes it was. But it was also discrimination based on my sex as well. If I was a hearing male, I'd have had a better chance of getting employment on my own, and my mother's nepotism would've ended up working. I know this for a fact as my mother's been able to get my two brothers, both hearing, employment easily. My oldest brother started work the following Monday while my other (middle aged) brother started a couple days later. But when she tried that pull for me, suddenly no positions were available.
And no, it's not just my experiences as well, many other deaf men have had similar issues where a relative would attempt to get them hired on through nepotism, and the employer is enthusiastic about hiring them, but with deaf men, suddenly no positions available when there clearly were, but in cases with deaf female relatives, the position not only got filled with the deaf female, many times a position is made solely for them.
I've seen it, you and your wife have seen it, anyone can see it, provided they open their freakin' eyes just to look at reality for just a few minutes. It's a sad state of affairs. Even I rely on disability payments coming in order to provide for myself, primarily because it's exceptionally difficult to not only find work, but to keep work as well. Not to mention it's next to impossible to get promotions.
