Truth used to pour out of me like an avalanche. Bottled up for too long, cased in the efforts of a young woman trying not to be overly emotional, argumentative, or difficult. And when it finally erupted out of me, my words hurt the people I loved. In those moments I felt shame, regret, & disappointment. It took me years of practice to learn how to honor my feelings without adding story, meaning, or assumptions to the other person’s words.
It took me years of practice to learn that I could be with the discomfort of a hard conversation without defending, fighting, or screaming. It took me many more years to learn how to speak my truth, especially in the face of challenge, frustration, or anger, without causing harm to the people I love.
In our home we share a reminder, “even when you don’t feel good you can still be kind.” It reminds me again & again that I can set boundaries, clarify my needs, & communicate with love no matter what experience I am holding. I still have work to do. While I am no longer the young woman who caused pain, I am a grown woman who is continually working on her ability to listen without interrupting. It’s an ongoing, unfolding practice that deepens beautifully when we are each willing to take responsibility, listen, & learn.