Humans are very curious creatures, I mean, everyone thinks different, we are motivated by different things, we like diverse things, anyway, we're totally unequal; each one of us has an essence that characterizes us, each one of us has a fragance that define us. Have you ever approached to someone you love and have smelled that person? If you've done it, it's as if that person's scent gave you a kind of peace, right? Or even some hope.
And it's not just that, the simple fact of could talk about absolutely everything with some people, and hate since the beginning to others it define us, and it's not because we're good or bad persons, we're simply... differents.
Yes, I know, I digressed a little bit, when I get into the philosophical mode my mind travels very fast, it's like a cosmo of emotions and thoughts that mix in a messy way but somehow make a perfectly inexact complex of what I want to express, I mean, it's a huge mess.
This time I don't intend to explain what I feel in an understandable way, I just want to make a "catharsis" of this storm without apparent form that's how I feel.
Now let's expresse it in simple words to see if I'll do it better in that way, but first let's ask the basic question: how I feel?
Answer: I feel fear, anxiety, hopeless, I feel irresponsibly useless, cornered, unmotivated, lost, anyway, all this could be resume in one question: Am I doing it right?
You may be wondering: what does this bunch of words have to do with the title of this publication? And it's simple, because we're a blank page, since the moment when we're born we're going to write our own page; of course, in our first years of life we're influenced by our environment and people around us, as we're growing and creating awareness about our existence we begin to write our owns "words" (situations), we begin to decide what we like or not, we begin to create our personality, our sexuality, our beliefs, our ideals, and we like it or not it's unavoidable.
So, what can we do if we don't like in what we have become? It isn't simple, but we have two options: we adapt to ourselves, or we find a way to change us because we want it, because we don't like what we are, not for what others say; this last point is by far the most important, because this is like by example the alcoholism or smoking, I mean, if we really don't want to leave the vice (change ourselves), we won't make it, even if it vice is killing us slowly, we won't leave it if we really don't want to do that, nothing forced is good.
Then I repeat, why are we a blank page? Because independently of the moment we are in our lives, we can change if we REALLY WANT IT, becauses we're owners of ourselves, becauses even if you say excuses about how selfdestructor you are, or about you're useless, it's simply excuses.
I know it doesn't much sense because of what I wrote above about how I feel at this moment, but you know what? After listen to music for a while, drink coffee and make "catharsis" when I'm writing, I'll feel better, like at this moment when I almost finished writing all this.
There is a Chinese proverb that says something like this:
If the problem has a solution, why do you worry? And if the problem hasn't solution, why do you still worry?
I'm almost sure it doesn't say the same as the original, I just like my interpretation more.
In the end what I want to achieve with this post (besides feelling better) is to make you think a little about what you're doing with your lives, you can't be what you aren't, you can't force the things, you can't preach what you're not practicing, simply be yourself, and as I said before: if you don't like how you are or what you're doing then pull yourself together and change it, not for the others, for YOURSELF.
Anyway, each person is a world, each one has different interests, and lucky ones the people who find others and can be themselves; fo those people what I can say are part of my enviroment and part of my life I just can say one phrase:
"It has been, is, and it'll be a pleasure to coincide in this life", thanks a lot for exist, and love me of course.
I think in the end I achieved to write what I wanted, in a messy way, but I like it, and if only one person understand me, it's enough for me.
We are an open book where no page is same as others, we are a blank page that continues to be written until the final moment when we leave this world that we call home.
I made it, all will be okay... someday.
"We are such stuff as dreams are made on, and our little life is rounded with a sleep". Shakespeare.
PS: the rest of images are of my property.
