Emotional intelligence perhaps sounds foreign to you, as practicing emotional intelligence is taught to few. Emotional intelligence requires lots of practice, but proves to be extremely resourceful and applicable in many of your life situations.
Until recently, I was unconscious of the relationships in my life and how they affected my growth, development, self-esteem, and progress.
What is emotional intelligence?
Emotional Intelligence is the ability to consciously regulate your emotions and responses to all the challenges life could possibly throw at you, sounds amazing doesn't it?
Many people seriously fail to realize that this is very possible, you aren't limited to feeling defeated come time hardships. With emotional intelligence, the strength to stand up for yourself and say no comes very naturally. There is very meaningful relationships when you are emotionally intelligent, because you will end toxic relationships with ease.
Before we start, lets get into the habit of dealing with our problems as they arise. If you seek to be a strong, emotionally intelligent person you absolutely need to recognize the "weak" traits within you. Don't ever avoid your problems because you're scared of how you'll handle it emotionally, you're simply escaping the storm of life instead of dealing with it directly. Ending your toxic friendships and relationships is taking the first step to becoming emotionally intelligent, theres absolutely no excuse for an emotionally intelligent person to remain in a relationship lacking resource for growth. Lets start exercising emotional intelligence with the steps listed below.
1. Cut out negativity
Cutting the negativity out of your life yields substantial results, crucial for your emotional intelligence. You may find yourself making a habit of dwelling on previous trauma or hardships, reshaping this habit is very possible and necessary. Make it a habit to try and understand the perspective of those who wronged you, you'll find its likely far less personal than you thought. Every time these negative thoughts pop up, try and channel your thoughts to something positive. The best way to get out of your own negative thinking pattern is to do something good for somebody else, try it!
2. The past is the past
This one perhaps was the hardest one for me to overcome on the path to become emotionally intelligent, the past cannot be changed, it's as simple as that and always will be. The most resourceful use of the past is to use it as a learning experience, instead of ruminating on what went wrong, use the information learned to do better next time.
3. Say no, and practice it
Many find themselves in situations they don't want to be in because asserting themselves is foreign or extremely uncomfortable for them. An emotionally intelligent person has no problem saying "no" and politely declining friendships, relationships, and various offers because they know what they deserve and refuse to settle for less.
4. Practice self-awareness
Self-awareness is known as the "cornerstone" of emotional intelligence, this practice runs parallel with emotional intelligence in many ways.
What is self-awareness?
Psychologist Daniel Goleman proposed the definition of self-awareness as “knowing one’s internal states, preference, resources and intuitions.” Following this definition, we can incorporate the practices to help us become self-aware.
Become non-judgemental (specifically towards yourself, your mistakes, and the emotions you feel)
Set time aside to practice your breathing and consciousness of your body and mind
Detach from "autopilot"
Express your emotions when they arise
Let out repressed emotions
Summary
in order to become emotionally intelligent, make a valiant effort to cut out negativity in your life, and any toxic relationships. Accept the past as the past, rumination on embarrasment and hardships is extremely counter-productive. Be assertive, stand up for yourself and don't feel guilty about it! Finally, make a conscious effort to become self-aware and understand this may take time.
