Tonight is the darkest night I've ever seen. There are no twinkles in the stars, even the reflection of the moonlight, the lightning bolt. Only black is visible. I couldn't see a blackish tinge. Everything is visible in the eyelids.
"Mel, it's late ... let's go in!" Said Mother.
"Dark ma'am, I can't see." I say slowly.
I don't know what I just said, the words came out even though no one pushed him outside.
"What do you mean Mel? Have you been here, sleeping? Continue to dream? What did you just say before, what do you mean, honey? " Mother thought I had just woken up and dreamed. I paused, "Ahh ... I shouldn't have said that" I muttered.
"No ma'am, don't mean anything. Maybe I was daydreaming, "I replied.
"What are you daydreaming about? Okay, let's go in! See what time it is! You have an interview tomorrow right? Go to sleep later, late! "
"Yes ma'am"
No matter how much I was in a room with enough light, all I saw was black, dark and jet. Ahhh I hate it like this. But I know the reason for what made me like this. Yes they are. Alya and Teo. Alya is my best friend, and Teo is my friend since childhood. I have long put my heart to Teo. But it's stupid of me to never be able to express it. Alya had indeed said about her feelings for Teo. But at that time I ignored Alya's words. Because Alya is the type of person who is easy to like the opposite sex. Every time he likes someone he never brings into a serious relationship. At first I considered their closeness normal, there was no jealousy or the slightest concern in my mind. But apparently, this reality hit me so hard. The pain outweighed the pain when I had an accident with my cousin. I don't know what will happen with my interview tomorrow. I hope I don't disappoint mom. Oh God ... bring this heart into peace, lead me to reach Your love.
The next day on a morning wet from dew, I was still lying in bed. The night that looked dark, had been replaced by a very cold morning. My heart was shivering to welcome this morning.
"Amel, are you ready yet? Alya already arrived "Mother's voice from a distance could be heard faint in my ear.
"Alya, you just go to his room. Maybe Amel is still sleeping, because last night she stayed up late "Mother exclaimed to Alya.
Alya went to my room. Suddenly Alya was surprised, found me still lying in bed.
"Geez Amel ... !!! Already what time did it see !!! Come on wake up, wake up, wake up !!! " Alya woke me up while shaking my body.
Actually I was awake, but I felt my spirit disappear somewhere. I felt this very heart bite. My blood flow seemed to stop, freezing.
"Yes, yes Al ... I already woke up" I said lazily.
"Hey, why are you not like the usual? Why so lazy like this. Let's take a quick shower! It's almost late, "he said.
"Ouch .. really lazy today" I complained while rubbing my eyes.
"Amel, from the start you were the one who was eager to study there. Now where is your spirit? All in the final stage, one more step. Today we have an interview test, after that, I just have to wait for the results. "Alya tried to cheer me up.
Usually when Alya gets excited, I get more excited. And if Alya tries to cheer me up, I will immediately stand up to be the most passionate person. But this time I felt very different. The support Alya provided tore up my feelings. I'm furious, the pillar that I've been holding actually brings me down.
"Yeah, I washed it first" I got out of bed. Just a few steps, Alya made me gasped. My steps stopped when the words came out of his mouth.
"Hurry up, take the bath, Teo has been waiting outside. Pity him if you have to wait long, and anyway afraid not hurried. Hehe ... "he said.
"God ... why does it have to be like this? It was enough to hit me with their confession yesterday. Why did I have to watch them go hand in hand today? I could not see the togetherness "I muttered, then continued my steps and answered Alya's words calmly," Yes, wait a minute, why isn't the bath long? "
Two days later I got word that I, Alya and Teo were accepted at the University we had been dreaming of. Once again I was confronted with a reality that was difficult for me to touch. Happy news that actually makes me more down. Night after night I passed quietly, pondering and trying to bring this heart into peace. Every now and then I bring this heart contents come dancing with pen on paper.
Me and my nights
Always put your foot on the path to this trust
You're the white rose
And she is jasmine
You and him are blooming with each other
Whereas I only wither in wishful thinking
What is the meaning of my feelings compared to you guys
It's just that this heart has not been able to accept the bitter that looks sweet
I always cry
Alya, you are still my best friend even though currently there is upset in my heart
Teo, I love you but love Alya with all your heart
The first days of my college I felt nothing special. I'm in the same class with Alya. Four years I and Alya were placed in the same class. From middle school to high school graduation. Day by day, I was able to accept Alya's relationship with Teo. But until now they have never known what feelings I actually have for Teo. I just want all this to work without ruining my friendship with Alya. I just need time to be truly accepting. And hope that there will be someone who can replace Teo, who sincerely loves me for who I am.
"Al, let's eat!" I invite Alya.
"Come on, but I'm going to the toilet for a while, okay? You go to the canteen first. Or if not, you go to Teo first, what do you do? Hehe…"
"Ihh ... unwilling ah. Just crazy, Teo's class is quite far. I'll just go straight to the cafeteria.
"Hahaha, just kidding. Yes, I will order super spicy meatballs with melon juice. Ok ... ok ...! "
"Siippp".
I walked towards the canteen. Alone I stepped through the rooms that had long stood. Among the roar of the voices of the people around me, there was a block. As I walked, like someone was following me. Then I looked back.
"Hello ..." A man stood right behind me and greeted me.
I stopped my steps.
"Yeah, what's up huh, I've been following me?" Rebuke me.
"No, no, it's not like I'm following you. But I want to ask. "Oh yeah, introduce me, I'm Edo" while offering his hand.
"I'm Amel. Just what do you mean, right? "
"Don't be so annoyed, I want to ask where is the art room? Incidentally, when I joined OSPEK, I didn't participate, so I didn't know where the arts room was.
"Ohh the art room. "On the second floor," I replied.
"Ok, thanks. Where are you going?"
"To the canteen. Yes, I have to go first, I've been waiting for the problem ".
"Ok, see you next time, okay?"
My feet stepped back.
The day has passed. After that meeting, my meeting with Edo I meant. Somehow the shadow of Edo's face continued to appear in each of my eyes. There is an unusual taste. Whether it's a feeling like, or just a feeling that is easily lost. But arises in my body a desire to get to know him better. I waited for the time to meet him again. But unlucky, day after day even two weeks of the meeting did not also come up to me. Why do you miss this for someone I only know at a glance? I don't usually experience things like this.
"Hey, Mel!" Alya suddenly came to surprise me when I sat in the park.
"Ahh, you're just wondering, Al! Where, said to buy a drink? "
"Anyway, in broad daylight like this daydreaming. The drinking is delayed first. Hehe ... someone was looking for you before. So I did not buy a drink ".
"So what's the connection? If someone is looking for me, you just say I'm in the park. Then you continue walking, buy a drink. It's easy? What nonsense are you Al ".
"Yes, yes, but I just don't want you to be surprised. The problem is that the person will be here soon. Now that's the person! Yes, I bought it first. This time really buy a drink, hehe. Daaghhh! "
Alya also moved to buy a drink. While I was still sitting with eyes that suddenly difficult to blink. My heart is full of questions. Who do I see now? He approached me more. Is that really Edo? God, am I dreaming? Why is a great vibration over this heart? What happened?
"Um ..." Edo sat beside me.
"Hey, you?" I gasped.
"Shocked? Sorry, I already missed ".
"Yes, it's okay, really."
"How are you, Mel? Long time no see ".
"Oh good, fine, fine, fine. Yes, I'm fine "I answered nervously.
"It's a relief that you're just fine. But why is that nervous, why Mel? ”
"God help me. Amel, come on you can do it! Inhale, let go! Inhale, let go! " I hissed in my heart.
"Mel, why are you silent? What is wrong with you?"
"No, no, I'm okay".
"Right?"
"Yes, that's right. My throat was dragging, since Alya had bought a drink not to come ".
"Oh ... coincidentally, I brought a drink for you".
"No need, no need to bother. Thank you, Alya will come soon too ".
"Nothing. Here! "I have the intention to buy it for you anyway."
"Ok, thanks. Oya, said Alya you looking for me huh? What is wrong?"
"Alya?"
"Yes, Alya my friend. He is his child "I pointed at Alya.
"Here Mel, drink it" Alya handed me a drink.
"Already late, I'm too bloated" I said.
"How come it's bloated? Haven't you had a drink yet? " He said, surprised.
"Yee knowingly! I already had a drink. Anyway, you took so long! Come to Teo for sure! " I said, annoyed.
"Not really ... we met people in the canteen," he answered.
"Hey Bro, how are you? Where have we just been looking? " Teo said to Edo.
"Bi Bro, an important matter of the company" Followed by their familiar laughter.
"Do you know each other already?" I asked.
"Yes Mel, I knew Edo at the seminar last month," Teo answered.
"Ohh ... Al. introduce me Edo. This Edo is Alya, my most annoying best friend! ”
"Hey ... I'm Edo" While offering his hand.
"Alya" Greet Alya.
In the following days, Alya, Edo and Teo became closer. We even go together often. Whether just watching at 21, eating at a Cafe or just sitting on the edge of a city park. I feel comfortable with being together. But the vibrations did not disappear when I was close to Edo. Especially when Edo paid more attention to me. Yes, I can't deny that Teo's position in my heart has now become Edo's.
Dear Edo
The darkness that darkened me is now gone because of you
You have uprooted the pain that stuck right in the recesses of my heart
You have turned a teardrop into the points of light that made me
able to look at the world
The beauty of being with you makes me always want to be close to you
But my tongue is still empty just to say
"I love you"
I always hoped Edo also had the same feelings for me. But once again I can only bury this feeling. I can never say love or love to a man. On the other hand, I don't want my stupidity to be repeated. I do not want my love to fade for the umpteenth time. I have to say as soon as possible to Edo. My heart really collided with my mind, which said differently. Whether I have to say or not, that is a struggle in my heart and mind.
Every break, I and ALya always took the time to sit in the park. Usually Teo and Edo will approach me and Alya.
"Mel, if I pay attention, yes ... I think Edo is in love with you," Alya said, and made me suddenly inclined.
"Oops ... sorry Mel, sorry. Are you okay? Slowly drink it, make it uncomfortable! ” Said Alya, gently lashing my back.
"Already, it's already okay. Anyway you say like that, awesome! Makes me weary, you know! " I said firmly.
"Ihhh but really!"
"How do you know Alya? This is a kid who talks like making up. You should just be a writer of stories there, in soap operas, right! Not bad, the salary can treat me ... hahahahaha ".
"Who made it up? It's open-minded, but dreamy! ”
"Are you a psychic who can go crazy? Huu! "
"If not love, what try? Every day, you are very considerate. Then every time you get sick, he is the most worried half to death. You're just a little chafed, he doesn't panic about your age. What try if not love? "
"I don't know ..." I replied, relaxed.
"Oh, Amel, you can't just stay quiet! Come on, don't act! "
"Act?"
"Yes, you have to ask about her feelings for you!"
"Why should I ask? He should say it himself, without being asked ".
"Or should I ask?"
"No need, what for?"
"Yes, to clarify your relationship. Well, that's Teo. Honey, where is Edo? How come it's alone? " Alya said to Teo.
"Edo doesn't go to college today," Teo answered.
"Why do you kid, why don't you go to college often? Whenever asked, the answer is that there is an important matter. But I never said what important business was, "I said.
"Ciyee, anyone is curious huh ..." Alya satire.
"Just ordinary" I replied.
Indeed there is one thing that I do not like about Edo. Two years we were close friends, not the least Edo tried to open up. He always wants to look fine. But my heart said differently, like there was something Edo was hiding. Edo often does not go to college for days. Every time I ask why, he will always say it's okay, there are important matters and various reasons that climax. So I never knew what the real problem was.