From our very first memories we are reminded of the importance of time. "It's your bedtime, time to come in now, time for your afternoon nap" We grow up with the concept of time being like gravity. Always there nothing to be done about it.
But Dementia can rob our mind of this understanding, alongside stealing our thoughts, our dreams and memories. Dementia can take just about anything from us including who we are. Its deadly dance shuts out the sound of time,
Without dementia our lives roll along beside the sound of time, we are conscious of time restraints, time passing and our ticking body clocks. We know when to sleep, eat and show up. But Dementia silences the sounds of that clock and in the vacuum it leaves a cushion of confusion and ultimately its anxiety that reigns.
Without the sounds of time we are never sure if it's day or night, "where does that darkness come from? when did I last eat? no it's not my bedtime I just got up"
On a daily basis the confusion deepens, there are now more clocks, digital and analogue, speaking and alarmed but their secret code cannot be cracked. The clocks are taken down and altered, for they are always just beyond our limits of understanding, they represent time which is running away from us. They lay with their backs open, their batteries dislodged and the growing detritus of clocks becomes just one more sign of the deadly dance.
This confusion leads to fear and fear leads to annoyance, rudeness, and uncharacteristic violence. The world is no longer on its safe orbit it has left the moorings and is heading for unknown territory. The mind fights back and somehow despite the odds there are moments of clarity and remembering but time is always lost, its presence never again felt.
When life is being lived to the full Dementia enters by the back door and starts its lethal dance, not sparing the good or bad, the wealthy or poverty stricken. Dementia is indiscriminate and has no boundaries, no shame in who it takes, no looking back for survivors.
So if you know someone with Dementia who always seems lost or late, or seem to be forever asking what the time is remember that they may have lost time.
