Another thing I have learned also is that lust is a obvious but subtle drainer. What do I mean? The people that are driven by lust, as I was, know that what they are lusting after is unhealthy, and definitely derailing, but they keep going along with it until it ends very badly and they start regretting.
Let me give an instance. Before now, I use to have what we call specs in the opposite gender. When I say specs, I mean the kind physical attributes I look for in the opposite gender. But when I realised that those focusing on those specs usually leads to bad partner choices, I sat down and I asked myself, "am I really interested in someone based on how they look or based on who they are?" And my answer was that what I was feeling was just lust.
One experience that solidified that understanding happened very early this year. I attended a child dedication ceremony that I was invited to. When the event was over and the guests were leaving, my eye caught someone that did fit my "specs". The person had all the physical qualities I was attracted to, and I wanted to approach them. But then I asked myself, "what do you really want from them?" The answer was obvious, and it was something I wouldn't give. But before all the internal dialogue, I was having this strong urge, but when I answered the question the urge died, and I felt really free. And I cane up with this quote, "they that aren't driven by lust, are free indeed".
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