This afternoon feels so dim to me, even though I know the sun has wholeheartedly illuminated this world ... But, I must be willing to have my light blocked by thousands of questions in my mind ...
Why does he have to go?
Why does he have to leave me?
Why does he have to leave me alone?
And many other questions ...
This afternoon as usual I do my routine with my lover kris .. Namely spending time together until dusk approached .. At that time he was very spoiled and adorable, for some reason it feels like he didn't want to stay away from me for a while .. Until when time has passed and it's time we to go home, he still did not want to let go of my hand which was tightly held in his.
"Do not want to go home ahh .. It's still at 5 .. Anyway I still miss you" he said in a spoiled tone while embracing me.
"Yes, but we have to go home ... Later you get scolded by mama again ..." I suggested.
"Mommy won't be mad at me anymore ... You're just calm ... Now I want the remaining time I give you only for you ... You have to promise, yeah ... You have to be happy ..." he muttered sadly ... While leaning on my shoulder.
"I was overreacted already ... Don't talk like that ... Don't like it ... Let's go home," I scowled as I stood up. He followed me up and made us face to face.
"Niken ... I want to go home if you promise first ... You have to be happy, don't let a drop of tears wet your face ... Yeah?" with his gaze, then I nod.
"Yes .. I will always be happy really ... I promise ... As long as you also promise always be beside me"
Without answering anything he suddenly hugged me and said "i love you !!"
Although I did not understand his behavior I also answered "i love you too".
Then he drove me home to the front of the house.
When I was about to enter the house ... He called me and said "Niken ... Wherever you are ... I will always be by your side ... You must remember that"
I smiled and saw him go until the turn until he was not seen again.
Today I am very happy .. Rarely is he so sweet like before, yeah even though it's a bit over .. Hhehe ..
The next day ... As usual I was waiting for him to pick me up in front of the house. After 1 hour he didn't show up either. I called him a number of times he didn't answer my calls either.
"Ihh where the heck is he ... It took so long ... Where's he ready ready again ... Or I'll just go to his house one time ... Maybe he is sick .." and I took the initiative to go to his house on a motorcycle.
After arriving at his house I saw many people passing by there. I went into the yard of his house, I saw in front of the door there was his sister Sis Kris's sister, who was already close to me.
He was seen crying and bowed sad .. I approached him.
"Sis, why isma?" unable to hold her tears, she hugged me tightly.
"What's wrong sis isma .. Explain to me .." I began to wonder and my heart was beating fast.
Without saying a word he entered and left me.
In the corner I saw Uncle Farid his father Kris was scolding Reza and his friend Reza the Refi. I approached him .. I saw they were shocked to see me there, including uncle Farid who had been scolding both of them.
"What's wrong, uncle? Why are you mad at Reza and refi? And I heard you will hand them over to the police station? What's the matter, uncle? " suddenly om farid left us.
"I'm sorry ken .." said Reza sadly.
"Sorry for what? I'm getting more and more clueless ... Are you watching Kris? How come he didn't pick me up today? Weird ... "I said. Reza and refi looked at each other and nodded at each other.
Because they were silent I thought I should go into his house to find out what was the commotion inside.
After entering, I was so shocked when I saw the sterofoam sprinkled with flowers that read "condolences, christian affendo permadi" and then lost my consciousness to make me collapse on the floor.
When I realized I was looking around, it turned out I was in Sisma's room, yes I clearly knew .. Because I often played there, and beside me now there was Sisma. He also helped me get up and give me a glass of water.
"Sis, what is right .." Not until I spoke, he answered.
"That's right .." said Sisma with a blank look. "I'm sorry, de ... Earlier, I didn't have the heart to say this to you, but I think again, you really should know ... If Kris is already not by our side anymore ... He has already left ... Yesterday, maybe after playing with you he came home and entrust this piece of paper to brother ... He said for you ... "he gave me a piece of paper, my tears did not feel like they had run down my cheeks. Then he continued what he said "then he left again, apparently he was challenged by Reza and Refi for a motorbike race. And it turns out they both had planned this, they broke the brake of the motor before the race began ... And ..." no longer able to speak, even Sisma cried uncontrollably.
I don't know what my heart's feeling is, I feel like I really want to go straight from there. And only one of my goals of all my anger is approaching reza and refi. I ran out and approached them both, then I slapped the two children.
"Hehh .. What's wrong with me guys huh? Why do you have the heart to take the most valuable person in my life? You guys don't know how the atmosphere turned out to be ... How about I destroy it ... If it's like this, you better kill me too ... Ayoo "I snapped while crying uncontrollably.
"Well, that's why I'm sorry ..." said Reza.
"Sorry? Too late, don't know ... Is that an apology that you can return kris here? Hah? No ... "I snapped again.
Because I could not hold it all I immediately went and went straight to the last place with me. There I just shut up and cry while covering my face with my hands.
Shortly afterwards felt the touch of the wind that seemed to hug me at that time, I thought and began to see a piece of paper that I had been holding. It says.
"Remember your promise you must always be happy, and I will always remember my promise I will always be by your side wherever you are"
And maybe the questions I always ask are an expression of how much I miss you by my side.
