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_{Why do I have to hate myself to love you?}

_{Why do you tell me I was born so worthless— that I don't even deserve to live?}

_{Why am I so imperfect to you?}

_{Why are you so perfect to you?}

_{Why are you so perfect to me?}

_{You have told me I could never know you— that I'm too stupid, too ruined, too woman.}

_{What was my transgression?}

_{How come everything I do good, you need the credit.}

_{But every time I fail, it's my fault.}

_{Everyone told me you were going to be the greatest thing that ever happened to my life.}

_{This love is unrequited.}

_{I get it.}

_{I love you. And, you love you too.}

_{I just don't understand why, you — and everyone else — say, this is right for me.}

_{When I needed you, I waited until I convinced myself why you didn't show up.}

_{And if I don't wait, then I don't love you.}

_{If I respect myself, I don't love you.}

_{Why do I have to lose for my love to be genuine to you?}

_{Why is my love only validated by my pain?}

_{Why is my love considered stained by the nature I was created with?}

_{Why will you only accept me if I reject everything I am?}

_{You've said, without you, I'm disgusting.}

_{You've said, without you, I should die.}

_{You've said, without you, I should be tortured.}

_{And who am I to question this, to question you?}

_{But who am I to be choosy when I ran to you, right?}

_{It's true. I did. I ran to you when I had nobody to run to.}

_{And I listened as I self-soothed and told myself everything I needed to hear, in your voice.}

_{It was the perfect timing because I was broken and I had no expectations.}

_{I was, needy.}

_{My limerance, it blinded me.}

_{I felt like I belonged.}

_{It was not long before I hung on your every word.}

_{And then your sweet words became bitter-sweet and then bitter.}

_{You told me commitment was not about my happiness, wellness, or common sense.}

_{Why do I have to throw all that away? Why do I have to throw me away to be loved?}

_{You trust you enough for the both of us.}

_{You want everything I have that I should salvage and forage for anything.}

_{You claim everything I've earned.}

_{If I have not poverty, I never loved you.}

_{You exempt not the lives of my babies.}

_{But should I turn from you, I never loved you.}

_{I'll never be blessed without your permission.}

_{I must be dehumanized and further degraded.}

_{Mixed signals. Mixed messages. Flying-monkeys.}

_{You've ruined every hand I've held with your jealousy.}

_{You've told me to trust no one but you.}

_{You've held me in isolation for yourself.}

_{Even as I bled, you forsook me.}

_{And even when life betrayed me, I couldn't find you.}

_{So, I fought my way back to myself, and everyone thanked... you?}

_{Who is lost? Me? Them? You— seriously, where are you?}

_{A world that stands by you, abusing me, on your behalf.}

_{You're why people hate me whenever I love me.}

_{You're why people hate me whenever I help me.}

_{You're why people only love me when I hate myself.}

_{Why do I have to hate myself?}

_{Is your love intoxicating, or toxic?}

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