The first time I actually stayed on my own was in my third year at the university. I had been staying on campus, and by chance, I found a place that I would like, and I wasn't even looking for a place to stay off-campus. And then, when I rented the place, I made sure that I wasn't going to have a roommate, mainly because I really wanted a place where I could be in my shell for as long as I wanted.
I became really close with my neighbours over time, and then I even became really tight with a few of them. Then we would all hang out and have fun together, or perhaps I'd have some of them as visitors or visit them instead. And most of us had this camaraderie that made the environment much more homely.
The thing, however, was that I always liked the fact that I could just fall back sometimes and be on my own in my own space. And it always felt nice, until the days when my emotional balance was shaken, and being in isolation often worsened the situation.
It usually seems nice being in isolation when you're in a really bad place emotionally, but oftentimes, it's a horrible idea. There's such a big difference between being "lonely" and "in solitude," but the word "alone" is used to describe them both, so the mark can easily be missed.
Yet, having spent the last year living with people from different walks of life, I have further solidified the idea that living alone, unless married, is absolutely necessary for me. But I now have a better understanding of how to handle being emotionally unbalanced.
You see, I have now learned from a series of podcasts by my absolute favourites and my intentional practices that one of the ways to feel better is to be around good company. And there are a number of ways to do it that would also bring meaning to one.
A friend of mine was feeling ill and needed to visit a clinic. They told me when it was about time, and I said, "I'd like to go with you. Is that alright?" And then I prepared myself quickly enough to leave with them.
From the clinic, we spent most of the day having different conversations, laughing, and doing a few things together. They liked that they had good company all the while, but I, on the other hand, was the one that needed it the most. And that company was all I needed to feel better. Eventually, I shared with them much later that day.
Spending time with friends, doing things for and with them most especially, has a great way of making one feel better if they really feel emotionally unbalanced. And it works really well—not just for me, but pretty much anyone who can be intentional about it.
One may not always have the luxury of being with friends in person, but there's a similar effect you can get from conversations and interactions with them over the phone or internet.
Surely, there's always the necessity to self-reflect in solitude to grow from the inside out, but there's a reason why God said, "It is not good for man to be alone."