There are subtleties to human nature that determine if I'll keep interacting with certain types of people. With a considerable amount of time spent on conversations, collaborations, and observations of interpersonal relations, I try to deduce if the continuity of the new-found relationship with an individual is certain or if it'll dwindle with time.
Everyone's got their own temperaments. We've all got different personalities and perspectives, and therefore we have a vast variety of interests, values, and passions. Considering that we were all raised differently, we are not the same. Keeping this in mind, I try to never really expect much from people and then keep our interactions as neutral as possible if we don't agree on similar things.
I would say, however, that there is a threshold to what I would accept when it comes to shortcomings. And amongst the many attributes that people should have—good ones, I mean—I subconsciously set out "being considerate" under scrutiny.
At first glance, in the first few interactions, discerning if a person can be considerate may not be exactly straightforward. It is because people tend to want to make a good first impression and so may try to appear as though they are really great people—but that's if they care to begin with. It's by delving into more intricate interpersonal interactions that one can truly know for sure an individual's true colour. Time, in this setting, is a cogent factor.
What exactly do I deem as "being considerate?"
Well, I prefer that term, basically, because it encompasses a couple of areas in relationships. It boils down to things like kindness, sensitivity, respect for boundaries, and empathy.
Being considerate, to me, fundamentally means being thoughtful. Period. It means being active in one's thoughts about someone other than oneself. Quite simple, innit? Yet, unfortunately, there are people I encounter every now and then who just aren't like that.
Now, I do not imply that I am the Tinkerbell of the century, that I am ever thoughtful, or that I know best. It's just that I try in my own little way to be that way, and so it's just a turn-off to not see that energy be reciprocated or even exhibited to other people when necessary.
Being overly demanding, unconcerned about other people's emotions, condescending to people, generally self-centred on matters concerning others, never inclined to act in service to be helpful, and many more that are similar all tell me that a person is far less considerate than they should be, and that thing is honestly scary. Co-existing with such a nature would be near impossible, as there would be too many frictions to deal with.
This attribute in question may not be all that much of an issue in acquaintance-level relationships, but it can be a problem if it's lacking in friendships and romantic relationships. I believe relationships are bound to crumble eventually if the attribute of "being considerate" is lacking in one or both parties.
Understanding
...is a ministry of this attribute in question that can never be overlooked. It takes a considerate person to try to see things from the other person's perspective and understand where it's necessary and important. Understanding is imperative for relationships to thrive.
I appreciate many individuals in my life currently, particularly the really close ones, for wielding this attribute. I try my best to reciprocate it as best I can because I believe that's how my relationships will thrive; otherwise, they'll end sooner or later.
In other words, I think that being considerate is a very important attribute for people to have if I am going to have any form of interaction with them. Deducing that this quality is lacking sets me on a track to avoid them as soon as I can.
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