Is there a certificate that comes with watching this video? I'm hoping to take this training straight to the HR people at barge headquarters. It's time to move into the barging business... I really think it will up my game moving illicitperfectly legal goods.

Not speaking of illicit income, I was told by a mutual acquaintance that this was the place to drop off a couple grand to smooth things over in the judging for that comedy contest. I was thinking I'll leave a grand now, as a show of good faith, and we can negotiate from there. This is a totally clandestine and anonymous space, right? I mean, Illinois?

I've had this grand scheme for a while to get things off the barges out there in L.A. Harbor. We just fill up another barge with willing cash-and-carry customers, barge them on out to the other barges, and set up a flea market. If those customs people want their taste, they'll have to get off their asses. Take enough in transaction fees to cover the boat and, ah, promotional expenses, we call the whole thing a charity, make some spare change, clean up the harbor, and get much needed luxury items to desperate American consumers.

Let me know. I'm throwing all my eggs in this basket. Er, barge.