I felt the need to discuss this topic. I have always believed that if we know better, we can do better. These are the things I learnt from the course I did online and would love to enlighten others on it.
Most people think counselling is about solving problems. In a way it is but it is mostly about making others aware of the issues and taking steps to solving it themselves. Most people don't need anything other than a shoulder to cry on.
Most of the time, as humans, we are too focused on where we are (the challenges and distractions) rather than where we are going. We sometimes don't see the woods for the trees because we are too focused on our own perspective which is why we need counselling.
Purpose of Counselling:
Not necessarily to change other people's view but to present them with options so as to make an informed decision. No one can stand in isolation. We all need one another to grow.
This is less about sympathy but more of repositioning ourselves for a purpose. You have to look at the world through a client's eyes by giving them your own eyes and your ears.
Where The Ideas In Counselling Come From:
This talks about us not admitting we are wrong. Most people don't like to admit they don't know everything.
This is appealing to the human nature of your client. You help some to feel better while you help another to become better. It is never the role of a counsellor to judge by pointing who is right or who is wrong.
We have all adopted a certain behavioural pattern that led us to behave in a certain way. As a counsellor, you have to relate to it, help them to unlearn or relearn new things so they can stay away from destructive behaviour.
This talks about the connection between the quality of our thinking and our behaviour.
This aspect talks about what works. This is about acknowledging what works, what doesn't work, what is true, what isn't true. We are expected to offer a sounding board and not by judging anyone. If they know better, they wouldn't request for help. Don't make them feel worse off than they came in.
What Is Counselling?
Counselling is to provide an opportunity to work towards living a note satisfying and fulfilling life. It is a professional relationship that empowers diverse individuals, families and groups to accomplish mental health, wellness, education and career goals - Udemy.
So, we can say it is the act of helping a client to view their situation in another light and from a different perspective since every human believes their way is the best.
It is not about giving advice nor is it about being judgemental. It is not a relationship that should become emotionally entangled too because your sense of reasoning would be clouded. It is not an attempt to solve the problems of your client as well.
As a counsellor or intending counsellor, you are not to expect your client to behave in the same way as you even though you have faced the same problem before or something similar. You are only expected to provide a safe environment for your client to be at ease to see things clearly.
You would most likely have people who would be unlikely to seek counselling because they want to abrogate responsibility. You would have those who would come willingly because they want to take responsibility. Never compare one client to the other rather deal with each person according to the peculiarity of their issues. Developing capacity for empathy and compassion is vital.
It is not our role to have an opinion but to understand. We should look beyond the relatabilities and know the heart because most people are shaped by their backgrounds as the levels of relatabilities vary regarding to culture, race or tribalism, language, hierarchies, prejudice, racism, orientation and stereotypes.
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Thank you for your time.
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