I shut down the alarm every morning and not sleep for five more minutes, not that I like the morning candy, but the fatigue. I say I don't have a kid. To leave a life in the house, to take a life and leave home, because I do not have to leave, his sad, tearful gaze, tears sit in my heart not to go to work.
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My hormones, nature can give me birth. Since my uterus cannot fulfill its task, it may be cyst and myoma. My boobs may be idle, for not feeding a living thing with milk. But I've never had to give birth.
Good thing when I'm working at my desk I'm not the mother. I hear my friend sitting in front of me with his mother, mother-in-law, babysitter. Worried, restless. A little smile, so you can get up and let me bring tea, I open a funny video to both of us, maybe a cheer up. The big job he made, I couldn't handle that stress.
On the way home from work and home, while sitting in the house in the evening at home, I think that I do not have to take care of the child at the time. Like my body nugget, I eat my food and crash. How could I have fed him while he was feeding me hard? How did I sleep when I had a few minutes between falling from a sofa bed to a bed?
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I go down the subway and go through the mall to go home. Exit doors at the end of the game room. If I had a kid, he'd want to come here, and I'm just saying I don't. The machines are like monsters, my ears are buzzing, the noise seems to fall on me. If I had a kid, he'd want to play in the dark. I'd take him to the ground, into the meadow, grass, but he'd want to be with his friends.
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