We all want the best for our children. We all want our children to have everything we had and more. And our society certainly doesn’t help. We are bombarded with advertisements masquerading as advice that our children need this product or that toy in order to be happy, healthy, and (eventually) wealthy. Nowhere does this become more apparent than during the holiday season. During this time of year, the normal pressure to give our kids the world turns into a frantic race to buy the newest, latest, greatest gadgets. It becomes very easy to blow our holiday budgets right out the proverbial window.
What do our children really need this holiday season in order to thrive? I’ve compiled the reasonable parent’s gift guide to help you find the best for your child this year.
Quality, not quantity, should be the name of the game when purchasing toys and other gifts for children. Seek out items that are going to last, especially those made of natural materials such as wood or metal. These items will help teach the child the value of their belongings and the beauty of well-made things. You will likely invest a little more in these items up front because of their quality. However, you’ll save money in the long run by not having to repair or replace the items a week after you bought them.
One of my favorite parenting “experts”, Magda Gerber (founder of Resources for Infant Educarers) believed that passive toys create active children. I am in complete agreement as I have seen this to be true with my own son. Passive toys are those that do not make noise, light up, or move on their own. This, in turn, allows the child to create the sounds and motions on their own, encouraging their creativity.
Consider that the reverse of this concept is also true: active toys create passive children. When a toy does all the work, by performing set movements or noises, the child need only sit back and watch. While there may be some slight entertainment value to such a toy, there is no educational value at all. The entertainment value is likely to wear off quickly and the toy will become another forgotten item contributing to the clutter in our homes.
Want to take this concept one step further? Look for items that have no set use. For example, a car shaped toy is likely only going to be used as a car. However, a set of wooden shapes may be used as blocks. Alternatively, a child may use the long, skinny pieces as people, or flat pieces like pretend food. The options are endless when an item’s function has not been predefined for the child.
Ever noticed how your child wants to be involved in everything you do? (This may be more true if you have younger children than older ones, but this idea can be applied to both.) This should come as no surprise because children learn through imitation (for more on this concept check out this post). Children want to do the same things they see us doing every day. This may include house cleaning, doing laundry, or cooking. So let them! Child-sized versions of the tools we use every day make excellent gifts.
Melissa and Doug make this awesome set of cleaning tools. For the child that loves food, try this kid-friendly kitchen set. Or check out this child-sized toolset. Your child may also enjoy a doll if they see you caring for a younger sibling on a daily basis. (Yes even boys can enjoy dolls.) These toys foster a child’s creativity (don’t you remember playing “house” as a child?) while at the same time helping to teach them a skill. Teach the child the proper way to use the tools and they may even be helpful around the house!
Some children have so many toys it can seem painful to consider adding any more, or even impossible to find something they don’t already have. The solution for children in this situation is simply not to purchase any more “things”. (See the next item for suggestions on how to deal with all those excess toys.) Instead, focus on purchasing “experiences”. Ideas for gifts in this category include tickets to a sports game, a membership to the zoo, or a book of homemade coupons for trips to their favorite park and ice cream parlor. Sometimes the best gift we can give our children is that promise of one-on-one time with them doing an activity they love.
The holidays are an excellent opportunity to teach our children about gratitude and the joy of being able to help those less fortunate than us. A great way to do this, while also clearing space in your child’s room for the new gifts they will be receiving, is to make a tradition of giving away unused items. Have each child choose a few items (the exact number is up to you) that they no longer use or want to donate. Be sensitive that this may be difficult for some children who are very attached to their belongings. But remember, learning to “love people, use things”, instead of the other way around, is a valuable lesson for our children to carry into adulthood.
This idea is not original to me, but I love it so much I wanted to share it with you all. Below is an example of the “Gift-Giving Rule of Thumb” to help you focus on what, and how much, your child needs.
Giving our children gifts and seeing their delighted reactions can be an immensely satisfying part of the holidays. But getting the best for our children doesn’t have to mean breaking the bank. I hope you find this Reasonable Parents' Gift Guide helpful, and I hope it takes away some of the stress of the holiday season.
Comments or questions? Leave them below. I’d love to chat about it! And check out my blog Of Earth and Hearth for more tips and tricks!
