I don't know, it seems like any combination of words uttered would just come off as disingenuous or otherwise unhelpful when the topic itself is genuinely awful.

I can only speak to my own personal loss, but, for me at least, when my dad passed a few years ago I valued the folks that were basically like 'hey this sucks and nothing I say will make it suck less' because there's nothing you can say. Maybe for some folks there is comfort in condolences and such, but there wasn't for me. It was nice to see that folks cared, but the hard fact is that it sucked and will continue to suck. Now I can just predict what parts of the year are going to suck the most.