I'm sorry for what you're going through. I lost my dad in 2019 after his short fight with cancer and it's hard. Hard in ways that only folks who've lost a parent they loved can understand. It'll suck, and it'll suck for a while... but eventually you'll learn to anticipate the times that suck most and weather them more. I understand the helplessness and loss you already feel as I felt the same. I'm sorry.