Sometimes, I do sit back and think of how nice the previous generations before this one was in terms of dating, courtship and marriage in general. Back then, people married for tangible purposes and not just for material things.
In our world today, somebody could marry for the little-less thing possible. I saw a video online that addressed the little things people marry for in our world today, and one of these things is hashtag. People marrying just so that their name and their husbands name could match in a hashtag. You will be seeing things like Bliss marries Sunshine so that the hashtag on social media will be #blissfulsunday. Like it does not make sense.
Some marry for material things like money, the size of the lady's assets, height, skin color and other crazy things. Inarguably, everybody has the right to make the choice they think is best for them, but then, when you think of it, it actually explains why there is high rate of divorce nowadays.
It saddens me to see innocent children suffering mentally and emotionally because their parents decides to divorce. True, love fades, emotions fade, but then, those children will never forget the pain they had to bear because their parents were not able to continue the marriage. Seems like "for better, for worst," was just something they said to each other during their marriage, and when thing became worst, they forgot about the vow.
I witnessed something ( Or should i saw i'm currently witnessing something) that is breaking my heart when i think about it. One man and a woman in my area have been happily married for a long time now. I dont know how long they've been married, but it has been more than 10 years.
People said that he was married before but his ex wife left him because he slept with another woman in the same room he lived with his ex wife. She caught them and decided to leave. So, he went further to marry again.
This current marriage has been going well for a long time. The wife even got a loan from the bank to build a story building that has 4 flats in it. Three was rented out, and they live in one. However, for the past year or two years, things have not actually been as smooth sailing as it used to be. The woman is an educated woman and she has money, while the man is not educated, and rely on petty business to survive. Rumors has it that the woman pays for most of the bills.
One thing led to another (I don't really know what really happened but grapevine informations have been flying here and there), and this man stopped sleeping in his house. Instead of him to come back home, he will sleep in his shop. For the records, he has 3 kids. Two boys and one girl.
before he started sleeping in his shop, people observed that he got himself a girlfriend. Another lady that was once married with kids, but she left her husband. Again, i dont know why.
This other woman who we'll call Jess, always come to his shop to help him out with things. She cooks for him, and she does many things for him in the shop. With her there, he expanded his business from just a bar, to a bar and restaurant.
Gradually, this man left his wife and family and he began to sleep in his shop. Jess will always come around to keep him company and help around his shop. Time flew and about last two weeks, I began to hear rumors that he's about to get married to Jess. I thought it was another grapevine information, so i payed no mind to it.
He always tells me many things, including his family problems with his wife, so, i didn't believed them because he did not tell me anything about getting married.
On Sunday night, I was in my room when i began to hear the door banging upstairs. I leave in downstairs, while he lives up with his family. The bang became very loud as if somebody was trying to break the door. I thought it was just somebody nailing the door or something, so, i paid no mind to it. The sound continued, but this time, it was reinforced by the sound of children crying and shouting "daddy please."
I rushed out to see what was happening. To my greatest surprise, i saw this man hitting the door with an object. I could not see the object because it was already night. His children, out of fear, locked him in the balcony while he pounded the door heavily for them to open the door. Why did they lock him out? He got married to Jess and brought her back to the two bedroom flat he was managing with his (should i call wife ex?) wife. His wife refused the disrespect, and tried everything to not let him in, but he persisted. Fight broke and when I came, he was locked in the balcony.
You need to actually see and hear how these children were crying. People gathered and was trying to talk to the man but he refused to listen. He didn't even respond to my call.
The mental torture these kids passed through that night was really intense. I was really furious, but then, I could not do anything. I am not a native of the land, and it is not my family. This drama went on for a long time, but the man refused to listen to the cries of his children. I actually felt like giving a dirty wake-up slap.
With what i witnessed that day, I don't actually think the mental health of couples are more important than that of children. Couples are adult, and they can manage themselves, but what about the kids? The leaders of tomorrow. If their mental health is not kept in check, they may end up becoming worst people when they grow up.
Whether couples are still together or divorced, I don't think their mental health comes first. The children should come first in all ramification.
Thank you for reading.
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