I had a best friend, at age five, named Mishu (I hope I spelt that correctly), then we were still living in cote d'ivoire. He was older than me, boyish charm, skinny, much like I am now. I can't quite remember his facial features, but I do remember he had this striking innocent smile. Often I would go to his house to play with his toys. He had this battalion of miniature soldier, and I would stage countless coupe and pseudo wars, that was my highpoint everyday after school. Unfortunately, he relocated to Burkina-Faso, and my heart was broken for the very first time. He wasn't just my best friend, he was my only friend. Most of the kids in my class then where Chinese, and they looked nothing like me, so it was kind of hard to connect.
We moved back to Nigeria a couple of years later due of the political unrest that was gradually taking shape in Cote d'ivoire. Then I met Chukwudalu and his brother, Somtochukwu. Their mum had a restaurant below my house. Can't remember how we clicked, but we did. I also made friends with my neighbours in the building beside ours, footballer friends I called them. Looking back now, I actually had a fun childhood.
I started nursery in Princeton Junior School and finished primary school there as well. I had my pack: Ifeanyi, and Sesan. We were basically in the same class all through primary school. I met ifeanyi again at FSTC Yaba, where I did my senior secondary schooling and Sesan at a tutorial centre during my preparation for jamb. Junior secondary school I had another cliché: Chukwudi, lochi and Koasy, that was the best time of my life.
Senior secondary school marked the beginning of my introversion. I was also a vivacious child as far as I can remember, but that changed then. Notwithstanding, I still had my pack: Emmanuel and Soji.
Fast forward six years later, I barely know these people. I've never seen Michu after seen, I doubt if he would recognise me; ever since Chukwudalu's mum moved her shop we barely seen, probably he is married by now because they were quite older than me; the last time I saw any of my football buddies was three years ago and it was more of a formality. The point is, none of these people mentioned are in my life presently. They're just memories.
"How many important people in your life are just memories now?" -anonymous
People drift so fast, most times it happens unconsciously, the transition . It might be triggered by some unforeseen event, like a change in location or school. Or it might just be that we've made new connections, with new people and the older ones are harder to maintain. Other times it happens consciously, a deliberate withdrawal. I do this a lot, for many reasons. it doesn't really sit well with a lot of people. Friendships should last a lifetime, so why deliberately end it? Well, there is time for everything, including the people in your life. Last semester I met this girl in night-class. Fortunately we attend the same fellowship. We noticed each other but we never really said anything until one Sunday during service she walked up to me and we started talking. I was super excited. After three consecutive nights of talking and distracting ourselves from our primary purpose of coming to night-class we stopped talking. We had a good thing going on but it ended as quickly as it started, and I respect and understand that anything other than that would be futile. So it's important we understand timing
What have I learnt from friendships?
I've learnt to enjoy a good thing while it last, because every good thing surely comes to an end, even the best relationships. I've learnt not to be too hard on people for leaving. Something has to leave for another to take its place and okay if it happens a little bit too frequently than I expect. I've learnt to cherish memories and relinquish grudges because at the end of the day that's all we have, memories. Summer friends don't stay, well maybe that's because the weather does change.
