I'll tell you something. I spent a long while trying to gather my thoughts.

My artist brain is scrambled eggs. I have this thing about balance. And instead of trying to tip the scales towards one position, long ago I decided to just be the whole scale. Picture a balancing scale. These days each side is going up and down so fast, you can't even tell it's moving.

Calmly meandering along with zero chill at the same time.

Discovered I do have a lot of energy. Just don't know what to do with it. And tomorrow I might have nothing. I tend to trust my gut. Some days I feel welcome. Other days, quite the opposite. With no indication or nothing telling me it's time to carry on creating, I don't feel like doing it. It'll just turn into a pile of unfinished work and lost time.

I chose and would still prefer to retire, from all this. It has nothing to do with this place, the people, or anything other than me, making a decision I feel is best for me. I simply want a better life. That's all. And I hope I'm being clear.