“Every man has his secret sorrows, which the world knows not, and often times we call a man cold when he is only sad.” ―
Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
A lot of factors can lead to depression. It could be divorce, loss of a loved one, loss of a job, etc. Depression of any kind is never so sweet to experience. I have experienced depression in the past, but I'm glad it didn't last long as people around me were able to detect it on time and helped me overcome such a mental health condition. Mine was both prenatal and postnatal depression. I was feeling this persistent sadness in me, so empty, angry, and even violent for no just reason. It was as if I was going crazy every day, but at first I didn't know that I fell into depression until I opened up to my big sister about what I was passing through and my uncontrollable actions. That was when I got help from the condition.
However, I have a close friend who suffered from depression for two years. I was with her all through her ups and downs, and I felt every pain she passed through. Sincerely, I was worried at some point that she may not be able to overcome such a situation, as all the support I and others provided initially yielded no result. Imagine being accused wrongly by your own husband, who had ulterior motives for his actions, and then he succeeded, making a once-happy marriage a broken home. That's the case of this friend of mine who fell into depression when she couldn't control the changes in her relationship.
She is a content creator who discovered her talent even before she got married and started working on developing it gradually through YouTube; unfortunately, her husband didn't support her vision. She felt bad that she was being deprived of her passion. The husband works outside Lagos City. He would go to work in another state for one month and come home to stay for one month too. So one of those days the husband traveled out, this lady felt she should just shoot the short drama she wrote and upload it to YouTube. She was eager to start growing her YouTube account gradually so she could monetize it over time. In the process of shooting the video, the husband accidentally returned and was mad at her for using his apartment to shoot the video. This was the only offense this lady committed that led the man to conclude that the lady was having a secret affection for the videographer who came to capture the drama.
Prior to that, the husband had lost his job years ago and was suffering with this lady and her two children. They tested what it means to go through poverty for a few years, but they were working hard to find a solution together. I remember the lady telling me about lots of sacrifices she made to see that the husband went back to work again. Fortunately, he later got oil and gas Job and bounced back again financially. It was just a few months into the new job by the husband before he had this problem with the wife. It surprised me to hear his quick decision to not be interested in the marriage anymore because of an affection that never existed between the lady and the videographer.
This lady tried all she could to apologize for shooting the video in the first place, but the man's heart was totally locked up. Many people called him to be sure he was serious about his decision, but he wouldn't listen to anyone or accept the apology from his wife. I personally called the man, and he said, Nkem, I know my wife is your good friend, but I am sorry, it's too late; another lady is already carrying my unborn child. This revelation came as a shock to me. I mean, that was so quick, or could it be that this man was having an affair before and has been looking for any opportunity to hold as his reason for quiting the marriage? Well, my suspicion was right after 5 months, as the strange lady later gave birth and the man didn't hide it. He left my friend and her two children with this strange lady and built a new family with her. My friend felt she was dreaming, but then it was a reality she didn't see coming.
To say that she fell into depression is an understatement. You could see a young lady changing from a fair to dark skin color, losing weight from 86kg to 55 kg, having sleepless nights, emptiness, and sadness. You could feel the bruises in her mind. She went crazy and was talking out of her mind some days. She lost her appetite to the point of going days without food. She went through a series of emotional pains, but one thing I loved about her throughout the peak of her challenges was that she discovered her problem and was seeking help from friends and family. She was so open, and I think it helped her not to think of suicide. You know some of the people who usually commit suicide due to depression try keeping things to themselves, and it's quite unhealthy.
Even though all that our friends and family tried to fix this lady's marriage again didn't work out, we were able to provide her emotional support. We also went further to secure a therapist for her, who helped her overcome her negative thoughts and build a more positive view of herself. Today she is out of depression and has started living her normal life, working hard daily for her needs and those of her two children abandoned by her husband.
In conclusion, life is full of difficulties. I doubt if someone is without a problem that burdens his or her life, but striving to overcome the burdens of life should be the goal. I have learned that depending on the type of depression one is going through, the period of recovery differs; some may take weeks, others months, and even years, but overall, it's nice to talk to someone who wouldn't judge you but helps you understand your emotions. Speaking out and seeking help whenever I find myself in such a mental condition is a step closer to overcoming depression.
This post is in response to the #hivelearners community contest on the topic titled, Depression is Real
Thanks for visiting ♥️♥️♥️
