If you happened to be a bacteria you would have 1000x less DNA than one single cell of your body which translates to 34 000 000 000 000 000 times less DNA than what your body contains right now. Let's not forget that your surroundings would be as dense as asphalt, but you would have an excellent swimming capability many thousands times stronger than your current body, but sadly you can only swim forward or turn in place, but hey you turn as fast as 50kmph. Also you can't stop moving, but that wouldn't bother you as much as getting split in half every 20ish minutes right? Well you would have a bigger problem if you are a male because every time you get a girl she turns into a man, not cool right?
Big creatures have conquered you and are putting you trough a series of tests and then later are using you for their needs, and as a bacteria you have no one to fight for your civil rights.
But you'd have 3.5 Billion years of experience of living in all kinds of harsh conditions, and now you are in a loosing battle against humans who use antibiotics to kill your friends and you, but they don't know one thing, by loosing a battle, you gain experience to win a war!
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