You would expect them to be lurking in the dark, in secluded alleys or underground dungeons. But they fear no one no more. They now walk amidst us; they have masked themselves to blend in with the crowd, but old habits die hard and hence are mostly found hanging out in corners.
They watch you, your every move. They know what you are up to. The coffee mug you left by the vending machine, that went missing along with the tissue paper you used to dab off that extra bit of lipstick, and that feeling that someone is following you but you see no one in sight. It’s them.
I present before you, the individuals who would’ve gone unnoticed, if not for these traits that make them stand out in the crowd; ‘The Office Creep’.
While most of us have atleast one of these specimens in our workplace, I have recently heard of a variety in this species. A mutation of some sort I would say.
The Smirkster:
No matter where, what time; No matter at what awkward moment you glance at this person, he’s looking at you, he’s noticing everything you do and has the same annoying smirk stuck on his face!
The Owl Man:
You are minding your own business, sitting at your desk, doing your work and that’s when he strikes! He will scan the room, spot you and walk across your desk. He would have spanned the entire length of the room, without taking his eyes off you and that’s when you realize his head has turned a 180 degrees to maintain that gaze!
The Stalker:
Walking down an empty street or the stairs to grab a coffee or even when you are running to take a leak, he follows you like a shadow; Silent and at your heel. You can’t confront him because he’s never approached you, you cannot complain because he could have a path same as yours. So you just let him follow
The Social Media Stalker:
He sends you a Facebook request, you decline it. He spams your ‘Others’ folder with ‘Hello ji, can we please be friends ji’, ‘I wants to take you for coffee’, ‘I see you everyday’ messages. He follows you on Twitter, likes every post on Instagram and has even found your long forgotten Blog and tells you he’s waiting for your next post. You’ve blocked him everywhere and now you think he has created a fake account just to follow you on Facebook!
The hungry opportunist:
You know he has no friends, he’s weird and you want nothing to do with him. But every afternoon, just when you decide to go grab a bite, he pings you on your office communicator and says ‘Lunch?’. Now you cannot say you’re not hungry, because you are, and the next thing you know he’s by your side, waiting.
The Crotch:
This one actually exists! He comes to you for a serious discussion about work and stands really close to your chair. Now he suddenly sticks his hand inside his pants and is scratching away to glory! All this while he continues discussing work! Of course the HR gives him a warning and he says he doesn’t realize he is doing this, but he is the last of their kind.
What type is yours?
