We all have that one close friend, more like a best friend, whom we thought we would never stop talking to, no matter how far or near we might be. But all of a sudden, we stopped talking for some unfathomable reasons, which could be seen as flimsy excuses.
It hurts a lot when we are being ghosted. Already, you can't stop talking to your other friends and family about that one close friendship you cherish so much, but all of a sudden, the boat hits the rock, and that is the end of it all. Prompting the question: Why do people ghost each other? And What is ghosting in the first place?
Ghosting is used to describe the sudden end of communication with close friends. When somebody ghosts you, they suddenly stop talking to you, calling, or receiving your calls, or even replying to texts, with no clear explanation or reason. It is more like avoiding a close friend and keeping distance for no solid reasons. This action usually leaves one hurt and pained.
If you have been ghosted before by a very close friend, you can certainly relate to the pain and hurt associated with such actions. Worse still, you can't even pinpoint what went wrong, and trying to find out how you offended your friend and apologizing is like throwing dreams into thin air because, in most cases, there won't be a positive outcome.
One time in high school, I got ghosted by my then-best girl. It happened that she relocated and changed schools. Initially, we were good; we communicated as if she was still close, Facetime always and chat. As time went on, she suddenly stopped replying to my texts, wouldn't call or answer my calls. At first, I thought she was sick or something and even had to call her mom to ask, but she was not sick at all, neither did she lose her phone. It was then it dawned on me that I had been ghosted. The pain I felt was indescribable because we had been friends for years, probably five years, even before she joined our school. She was my older sister's neighbor; I usually saw her around whenever I went visiting, and people wouldn't stop talking about how much we looked alike. It started from random chats to becoming best buddies. I felt hurt and even started avoiding others as well.
People do this for a variety of reasons, but three are particularly common: stress, a lack of communication skills, and a loss of interest. Let us take a closer look at each point.
Stress and other personal challenges: This is a major reason why people ghost or avoid their friends. It's a common problem, particularly for those who are usually busy at work. After a long day at work, one may be too tired to check in with friends by calling or texting them. This can go on for days or weeks, eventually bringing people's relationships to an abrupt end.
Personal issues, such as dealing with rude coworkers and employers, having a bad day, or even being sick, can cause people to withdraw. In most circumstances, individuals with such issues often prefer privacy and may withdraw to the point of ghosting friends.
Loss of interest: When someone loses interest in a relationship, friendship, or situationship, it indicates that their feelings or attraction to the other person have weakened.
When a person is not comfortable or confident expressing their waning interest directly, they may resort to ghosting. This decision may be influenced by a fear of hurting the other person's feelings, a lack of communication skills, or an unwillingness to deal with the potential emotional fallout of a breakup.
Lack of communication skills: When an individual lacks communication skills, they might find it hard to express feelings openly and engage in difficult conversations. Ghosting becomes an option as it allows them to avoid uncomfortable talks and potential fights. The fear of confrontation and a lack of confidence can lead individuals to choose ghosting as an easier way out. While it might seem easier for them, it often leaves the other person confused and without the understanding they need.
Ghosting may seem easier to do, but it is not the best way to end a friendship. Having the decency to talk things out and explain to a friend why the relationship cannot continue shows respect and allows the other person to process the grief and pain. In the future, both parties can still benefit from each other. Ghosting is like putting a permanent end to everything; the person being ghosted will not be happy and might not even want to have anything to do with the other person again.
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