For the longest time, I have always been the person who showed up. The friend who reached out, texting first, called regularly, and checked in when no one else did. I believed in holding on to the people I care about, even when it felt like I was the only one doing so. I don't mind being the glue that kept things together until the glue started to dry up, crack, and leave me feeling emotionally drained.
I realized something painfully true, once I stopped reaching out, everything else stopped, too. The chat grew cold, and the calls disappeared. The silence becomes deafening, not the peaceful kind. It was the kind of silence that made me feel unimportant, forgotten, and only remembered when I made myself available.
All this while they have been posting endlessly on WhatsApp, updating their Facebook stories, and clearly having conversations online. Then came the excuses, the same old lines. "I have been so choked with work" "my phone got bad" "I was about texting you"
The truth is, I was exhausted, emotionally and mentally. It felt like I was chasing shadows, pouring from a cup no one could refill. The weight of trying to keep everyone close became too heavy. And for a while, my mental health was affected too, little by little. It started messing with my peace of mind. I stayed up late overthinking things, wondering what I was doing wrong, trying to shrink myself so I wouldn't feel like too much.
Being the glue was something I couldn't keep up with. I needed less chasing, less emotional clutter, that was why I made a decision to let go, to stop draining energy on people who wouldn't lift a finger for me. No more one-sided relationships, no more waiting on texts that may never come, no more trying to maintain bonds that are not mutual.
If you bring light, I’ll bring mine too.
If you make space, I’ll show up.
If you want us to vibe, I’ll match the frequency.
But if you go cold, I won’t chase warmth that doesn’t want to stay.
We both move. We both stay busy. And that is very okay.
And let me tell you, it has been freeing. Like a heavy load was lifted off my shoulder. I now sleep better, and earlier too. I don't stay up staring at my phone, waiting for replies that never come or checking someone's last seen. I wake up with a clearer mind, no emotional weight pulling me down, just some peace, calm, and quiet.
You know what happens when your mind is calm? You can finally think and focus. For the first time in a very long time, I have been able to focus on myself, on things that truly matter to me. My energy is longer scattered trying p fix, and please people who don't give a damn about me.
I’ve started paying attention to my goals again, the things I have been putting off for so long, because I was too distracted. I make plans and follow through. I journal more, read, and rest.
I have been creating more, building habits, and moving towards the life I want, not the one that is filled with emotional guesswork and anxiety.
It is crazy how much space you create in your life when you stop giving energy to the wrong things. I’ve found peace, not just in my surroundings, but inside of me.
