There are some market experiences you can never forget, no matter how hard you try. For me, it happened one sunny Saturday morning when I went to buy tomatoes. You know that kind of hunger that doesn’t want negotiation? That was me. But somehow, my inner spirit said, “Price it, let them know you’re not a novice.” Biggest mistake of my life!
I entered the market with confidence, chest out like a big spender. The first woman I saw had this mountain of fresh tomatoes, shining like they were rehearsing for a photoshoot. I asked,
“Madam, how much for this small basket?”
She replied with authority, “₦2,000.”
I don’t know if it was hunger or village people, but I opened my mouth and said,
“₦500 last price.”
My brother, the way this woman paused and looked at me eh… even my soul started apologizing. She scanned me from my head to my slippers and shouted,
“₦500 for tomatoes wey dey shine like Rihanna skin? Na garri you dey soak? Even my ancestors reject your price!”
Immediately, the traders around burst into laughter. One pepper seller nearly choked on his ground pepper. He shouted,
“Oga, abeg no price my pepper o, I no wan enter hospital today!”
Another woman selling okro added fuel to my embarrassment:
“Since morning I never laugh like this. Oga, you be comedy show for real life.”
At this point, I should have disappeared, but pride tied my legs. I tried to defend myself:
“Madam, it’s not that deep, tomatoes are not gold now.”
That was the trigger. She clapped her hands like a Nollywood actress ready to call thunder.
“Tomato no be gold? Hunger go soon show you say it pass diamond. If you no get money, shift make serious customer buy!”
Even one small boy selling nylon joined the mockery:
“Oga, you go need ₦500 to buy sense first before tomato.”
The laughter that followed shook the entire market. People I didn’t know were pointing at me like I was a skit on YouTube. One man even shouted, “Make we clap for am—Comedian of the Year!”
My reputation in that market died that day.
I tried to sneak to another stall, but somehow, market gist moves faster than CNN. Before I opened my mouth, the woman there said,
“Oga ₦500, abeg waka go. We no dey do rehearsal for AY show here.”
At that point, I knew I was finished. I returned to the first woman like a humble apprentice and bought the tomatoes for ₦1,800. She smiled at me like a victorious lioness and said,
“Oga, next time no use play play do business.”
That day, I didn’t just buy tomatoes, I bought humility, free of charge. And to be honest, anytime I see tomatoes now, they don’t look red to me anymore… they look like embarrassment in uniform.
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