In just a few days, the calendar already has a red mark. My little girl's birthday is approaching, and that is the most important date in my life, the one that split my world in two: a before and after that day when I saw her for the first time. Now, while organizing the preparations, I have lost myself in the chest of memories.
I haven't been able to stop smiling when thinking about those birthdays when she was 4 or 5 years old. Back then, happiness fit entirely in her body. In those days, there were no sorrows, no embarrassments, no teenage shyness like the kind that accompanies her now.
I remember that for our birthdays she would dress up as a little clown. I recall it and my skin tingles. She would take out her little toy makeup kit, paint a huge red nose on herself, put on her brightly colored wig, and go out to perform her show.
She would sing Happy Birthday to us with a tune as out of key as it was adorable. She would juggle and tell jokes that only she understood. Her only audience was us, and she gave herself with the passion of a Broadway artist.
That little clown was pure magic, childhood made into a costume, the absolute confidence of knowing she was loved. We were her circus, her stage, and her most faithful audience.
Today, a decade later, my little girl is a teenager and no longer wears wigs; instead, she straightens her hair. Many things embarrass her: being watched while eating, having us sing to her on her birthday, or having photos taken of her. But yesterday, while scrolling through old photos on the phone, she passed by me and saw that image of herself with the red nose, and for a second, just a sigh, her lips traced that same wide childhood smile.
I understood that little clown hasn't gone away and is just waiting, perhaps, for a new performance. Maybe she no longer wears the costume, but I know that in some corner of her teenage heart, the courage to be happy without filters still lives.
๐คก
๐ ๐ป๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐
๐๐๐! ๐
๐ฐ๐ ๐๐๐ ๐
๐๐โ๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐, ๐ฐโ๐ ๐ ๐ช๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐
๐๐๐๐๐๐, ๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐, ๐ ๐๐๐๐๐, ๐๐๐
๐ ๐
๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐โ๐ ๐๐๐๐๐
๐๐ ๐ฏ๐๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐.
๐จ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐
๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐, 100% ๐๐๐๐๐-๐๐๐
๐ (๐๐ ๐จ๐ฐ).
๐ฉ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐
๐๐๐๐๐๐๐
๐๐ ๐ณ๐๐๐๐.
๐ณ๐๐๐๐
๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐? ๐ผ๐๐๐๐๐, ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐, ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐
๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐! ๐
Faltan pocos dรญas y el calendario ya tiene una seรฑal roja. Se acerca el cumpleaรฑos de mi niรฑa y esa es la fecha mรกs importante de mi vida, la que partiรณ mi mundo en dos: un antes y un despuรฉs de aquel dรญa en que la vi por primera vez. Ahora, mientras organizo los preparativos, me he perdido en el baรบl de los recuerdos.
No he podido dejar de sonreรญr al pensar en aquellos cumpleaรฑos de cuando ella tenรญa 4 o 5 aรฑos. En esa รฉpoca, la alegrรญa le cabรญa entera en el cuerpo. En ese entonces no habรญa penas, ni vergรผenzas, ni esa timidez adolescente que ahora la acompaรฑa.
Recuerdo que para nuestros cumpleaรฑos se vestรญa de payasita. Me acuerdo y se me eriza la piel. Sacaba su maletita de maquillaje de juguete, se pintaba una nariz roja enorme, se ponรญa su peluca de colores chillones y salรญa a hacer su show.
Nos cantaba el cumpleaรฑos feliz con una entonaciรณn tan desafinada como adorable. Hacรญa malabares y contaba chistes que solo ella entendรญa. Su รบnico pรบblico รฉramos nosotros y ella se entregaba con una pasiรณn de artista de Broadway.
Esa payasita era pura magia, la niรฑez hecha disfraz, la confianza absoluta de saberse amada. รramos su circo, su escenario y su pรบblico mรกs fiel.
Hoy, una dรฉcada despuรฉs, mi niรฑa es una adolescente y ya no usa pelucas, sino que se alisa el cabello. Le dan pena muchas cosas: que la miremos cuando come, que le cantemos en su cumpleaรฑos o que le tomemos fotos. Pero ayer, mientras repasaba fotos viejas en el telรฉfono, pasรณ por mi lado y vio aquella imagen de ella con la nariz roja y por un segundo, apenas un suspiro, sus labios dibujaron esa misma sonrisa ancha de la infancia.
Entendรญ que esa payasita no se ha ido y solo estรก esperando, quizรกs, una nueva funciรณn. Tal vez ya no vista el disfraz, pero sรฉ que en algรบn rincรณn de su corazรณn adolescente, todavรญa vive el coraje de ser feliz sin filtros.
๐คก
๐ ยก๐ฎ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐! ๐
๐บ๐ ๐รบ๐ ๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐: ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐รณ๐๐๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐, ๐๐๐
๐๐, ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ ๐๐รฑ๐๐
๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐รณ ๐๐ ๐ฏ๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐.
๐ฌ๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐รก๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐
๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐รญ๐, 100% ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ (๐๐๐ ๐ฐ๐จ).
๐ฉ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐
๐๐๐รฑ๐๐
๐ ๐๐๐ ๐ณ๐๐๐๐.
ยฟ๐ป๐ ๐๐๐๐รณ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐รณ๐? ๐ฝ๐๐๐, ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐
๐๐ ๐ ๐
๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐. ๐