The location of your mailbox shows you how far away from your house you can be in a robe, before you start looking like a mental patient.
I always wondered what the job application is like at Hooters.
Do they just give you a bra and say, "Here, fill this out?"
Denny's has a slogan, 'If it's your birthday, the meal is on us.'
If you're in Denny's and it's your birthday... Your life sucks!
On average, an American man will have sex two to three times a week.
Whereas, a Japanese man will have sex only one or two times a year.
This is very upsetting news to me. I had no idea I was Japanese.
I can't understand why women are okay that J C Penny has an older women's clothing line named, "Sag Harbor".
I think it's pretty cool how Chinese people made a language entirely out of tattoos.
What is it about a car that makes people think we can't see them pick their noses?
Money can't buy happiness, but it keeps the kids in touch!
The reason Mayberry was so peaceful and quiet is because nobody was married. Andy, Aunt Bea, Barney, Floyd, Howard, Goober, Gomer, Sam, Earnest T. Bass, Helen, Thelma Lou, Clara, and of course, Opie -- all single. The only married person was Otis, and he stayed drunk.
